


Cottage

by ribica54



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Dark, Depression, Dirty Talk, F/M, Fanfiction, Funny, Ireland, Love, Romance, Sex, Smut, dirty - Freeform, imagine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-25 07:36:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 43,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ribica54/pseuds/ribica54
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Love story begins with a girl named Hazel and a boy named Luke.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I update every night/ every other night. I post the story on tumblr(andangelstofly), and wattpad(ribica54).

I walked along the pavement road pulling my suitcase with me. All I saw was hills of grass and foggy air. I was lost.

"Are ya okay, miss?" A stranger asked.  
"I am" I said as I rubbed the tears from my eyes and attempting to catch my breath. "Do you know a near by bed N breakfast? Or an inn " I asked looking at a boy maybe a year or two older than me.

"Yeah, yeah uh course, it's past second yolk lane only a few blocks away" he said

"I don't know where that is" I said sighing.

"I'm headed that direction anyways, so um this way" he said 

I tugged at the large suitcase which got stuck in a pothole.

"Here here I'll do it" he said.

"Thank you so much, I'm sorry I, this is just a lot of me" I said now walking side by side with him on the foggy road.

"How long are you visiting?" He said 

"Um I'm not visiting I'm staying, um like moving here" I said 

"Oh then why are you staying at an inn ?" 

"I bought a house here somewhere in lilac lane, but it will be three days before I get the keys" I said

"Lilac lane? You mean the brown cottage with the squeaky gate?" He said

"Yeah, how'd you know there's a squeaky gate ?" I asked

"You don't know! " he said with a shock on his face

"Don't know what?" I said confused 

"See that cottage you bought, wait are you from Ireland?" He said 

"No, I moved here from America, wait why do you not have an Irish accent? And what's wrong with the house?" I said 

"I moved here a couple of years ago, but I'm Australian and i don't know my accent never changed I guess, but the cottage! I can't believe you bought that cottage! Didnt they tell you ?" He said

"Tell me what? I don't know anything?" I said so confused

"The house is haunted. Yup I know haunted like Miss Havisham haunted yeah the old lady killed herself there and it's been empty for ages, she used to kill men there too, she was a feminist" he said holding a straight face 

"No way! Your lying" I said convinced by the information 

"No I'm serious" he said trying not to laugh

"Your bluffing " I said and lightly smacked his upper arm and he couldn't stop laughing at me.

"Yeah I am haha the cottage isn't haunted I just wanted to mess with you" he said smirking at me.

"Well aren't you cool" I said a tiny bit angry with myself for being Gullible

"Here's the inn" he said as we stopped by a small home couple of feet away from the road . 

"Thank you I appreciate your help" I said taking hold of the suitcase and shaking his hand.

"Haha, your welcome, by the way I'm luke" he said 

"Luke, you look like a Luke " I said than face-palming myself after I realized how stupid that sounded out loud, but he chuckled.

"And you ?" He said  
"I'm Hazel" I Said  
" you don't look like a hazel, maybe a auburn or a sapphire" he teasing me  
"Bye luke " I said as I laughed his remark off and entered the inn.  
"Bye hazelnut" he said flashing a grin at me and disappearing into the distance.


	2. CH 2 cottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter

I paid for three nights at the inn, and entered a small suite, twin bed a dresser and a bathroom. I stayed up all night starring out the window my thoughts overpowering my mind, since there was no television in the suite. 

The dark sky was beautiful stars flooded the night line and the moon was at its brightest. 

Earlier in the day I thought my decision moving here might have been childish, but looking out the window seeing the meadow and cottages and night sky I realized this is why I came here.

I took a deep breathe in and was blazed once more the night, nothing was more beautiful.

I yawned and realized the sun was rising. I laid in the tiny bed and dozed off into sleep.

 

Satisfied with my dream of finding myself. Becoming the person I set out to find.


	3. CH 3 cottage

I had woken up late afternoon, and decided to walk around the village that will soon be my home.

Town wasnt too far from the village outskirts so I stopped by, I underestimated the pain my legs would feel from the walk.

Entering town there weren't many people out, a few shops here and there I shopped at every one of them.

It started drizzling as I watched out of the book shop window. I browsed around and purchased a few books, that I knew I wouldn't read, just to have. I ran into the restaurant next to book shop to avoid the rain and catch a meal. 

Being seated down alone, I noticed Luke who seemed to be seated with a guy and two girls. I avoided looking in the direction Luke was but it was kind of impossible.

"Miss, how are ya? What beverage can I get ya?" The waiter asked  
"Um water or do you have some iced tea?"  
"We have ice tea, lemonade flavored or green tea" he said flashing a smile, he was rather cute.  
"Lemonade" I said and he proceeded on in getting the drink.

I starred at the menu realizing I didn't like anything. I grew disappointed seeing everything was mainly seafood, and it wasn't my cup of tea.

"Here ya go, so what can I get ya" he said pulling his note pad out.  
"Is there anything on here not seafood" I asked knowing it was such a dumb question   
"What? Can I see that?" He said looking at the menu " this isn't our menu" he said laughing  
I chuckled as well and Luke noticed me but I pretended I didn't see him.

"How ya get this?" The Waiter asked  
"It was on the table" I said chuckling  
"I have no idea how this got here, we have our menus on the table for our guests but I guess someone might have put a different one as a joke of prank, I'm sorry miss, I'll go get you a new one" he said and went off again

I took a sip of the tea and saw Luke walking towards me. 

"..are ya doing here?" He said  
"Having diner" I said and he grew a smile  
"Following me are you?" Winking at me, and seating himself in the chair in front of me.  
"Yes Luke, I dedicated my life to following you" I said making Luke laugh when the waiter pulled up.

"Here you go pretty lady" the waiter said as he passed me the menu and Luke's smile disappeared and just stared at the waiter.

"Uh is it a table for two?" The waiter said looking at Luke then me.  
I didnt know what to say, just starred at the waiter who was smiling at me.  
"Yeah, actually and it will be two New York strips, side of steak fries and a coke, for the both of us" Luke said in a harsh tone.

I didnt know what to say nor did I say a thing   
The waiter pulled the notepad out and wrote and left.

Luke smiled at me when the waiter left.

"Why aren't you with your friends?" I asked   
"I saw you" Luke said  
"Aha" before I could say anything else he interpreted.  
"I saw you were alone, probably helpless, clueless in need of assistance" he said teasing me.  
"Haha, very funny Luke, I was appreciating my helpless moment where I had no idea what to order, and you with your helping powers come along to order for me"I said teasing him right back with my sarcasm.

After five ten minutes the waiter came back with our meal.

"Wow, it's really good steak" I said chewing   
"Such a lady, chewing and talking" he said smiling at me.  
I chewed with my mouth closed and we began to have a staring competition, I lost.

"I won" he said sticking his tongue out, while cutting his steak.  
"First of all, we never said we were playing it just randomly happened, after you were seduced by my glorious eye balls" I said making him laugh  
"Whatever floats your boat, hazelnut"


	4. CH 4 cottage

We were getting done with half the steak, and I already felt full.

"What's wrong?" He said chewing.  
"I thought a lady doesn't talk with her mouth full" I darted back at him from his pervious comment after being in silence for a few moments while eating.  
"Well, I'm a gentleman, not a lady and two your rubbing off on me I guess" he said as he smiled at me.  
"How are you still eating! I'm full and I'm not even half way done" I said holding my stomach.  
"When you stay here long enough you'll develop an Irish stomach " he said laughing.  
I decided to keep eating little peices, because I didn't want to leave the food since I had my parents in my head telling me 'there are starving children in the world finish your food' so slowly but surely I was getting by the enormous steak.

"How's the inn?" He said pushing the plate in front of him and looking at the menu.  
"Small but good, you can't possibly be hungry can you?" I said   
"I was thinking we should get desert" he said looking up at me.  
"No no I can't I'm full" I said  
"Alrighty, waiter" he said "check please"

The waiter came back with the receipt and I attempted to split the bill but Luke wouldn't let me, he said "I wouldn't be a gentleman now would I?"   
"Luke it's not about being a gentleman please lets split it, please I feel awkward letting you pay for me"  
"Nope" he said putting the money in the black book which held the receipt.  
The waiter came by and took it, and we stood up from the table.

"Your friends left" I said  
"I know I told them too" Luke said  
"Oh, okay" I said feeling happy that he left his friends to eat diner with me.  
"It's dark, how are ya getting back to the inn?" He said   
"I was gonna walk but I guess I might grab a cab" I said shrugging my shoulders and looking for a taxi in the open street.  
"Let me drive you back" he said   
"I feel bad making you do all this stuff"  
"What stuff?" He said like he didn't notice and we walked down the sidewalk.  
"My suitcase yesterday, walking me to the inn, paying for the bill and now driving me to the inn" I said   
"So now I can't be nice to people" he said teasing me   
" of course not Luke this is a cruel world haha you must be as evil as a duck" I said   
"As a duck?" He said looking at me confused  
All I thought in my head was slick move hazel evil as duck, how smart.  
"Yeah a duck, there you know evil" I said trying to not sound dumb  
"Yeah I guess " he said smiling and we stopped in front of his car.  
"Now hazel since we live in such a cruel world, I won't open the door for you, since you insist on me being an evil duck" he said but still opened the passenger door for me.  
"Good" I said as I hopped in.

We started driving and he played a song I didn't know.  
'Carry on my wayward son there will be peace when you are gone' the songs lyrics were unique, I never heard the song before.  
"I like this song" I said trying to avoid the silence.  
"Yeah yeah it's a good one, it's by Kansas" he said "isn't that in America?"   
"Yeah in the middle of the country " I said looking out the window seeing grass and dark clouds.  
"I've been to America a couple of times" he said  
"Oh really where"   
"LA and New York " he said  
"Oh two metropolitan cites, do you family there" I said  
"It's a complicated issue" he said feeling his tone change.  
I nodded and understood not to ask further, though I didn't understand why he would mention going there but not why he did.

We pulled up in front of the inn.  
"Thank you again so much " I said smiling and taking the seat belt off. 

As I turned my head to open the door his hand caught mine.

"Hazel" Luke said  
"Yeah?" I said looking down at his hand which was tangling itself in mine  
"Do you wanna hang out tomorrow maybe?" Luke said  
"Um, yeah" I said shining a smile.  
"I'll pick you up tomorrow at 2" he said   
I proceeded out the door and he stayed with his car all up until I walked into the inn, that's when he zoomed off with his car. 

I felt excitement in me, I couldn't wait to hang out with Luke again.


	5. CH 5 Cottage

The night seemed endless, I usually loved the night but now all I wanted was for dawn to break.

I slept for only a few hours waking up early for myself because all I thought was how to act normal around Luke. 

It was now 9 in the morning. Time seems to endless. I became frustrated as I didn't know what to do waiting until 2 o'clock.

It was 12 in the afternoon now and I decided to get ready, doing my hair and makeup slowly so that it was perfect.

I finished around 1:30 and picked an outfit out that I only changed about a billion times.

I finally settled for something when I saw it was 5 until 2

I stood in front of the inn a minute or two before 2 and Waited for Luke.

After about five minutes of standing my legs became tired and I looked down at my Wrist watch again.

I grew impatient as ten more minutes went on and Luke still hasn't shown up.

I sighed to myself after I looked down at my watch again and saw 15 until 3.

My heart began to ache as I thought I was being stood up.

I waited hoping maybe he was late, or had an issue. I began making excuses for him. 

It was 3:22 when I looked down again. Where could he be? What's taking so long? Maybe he's.. Ugh.

I decided to wait until 4 and if he hadn't Shown up by 4 id go back inside the inn.

I lied to myself it was 4:38 I kept saying maybe he'll show up in a minute or two.

I was fed up with myself when I saw 5:13 and I walked back into the inn.

I laid down on the bed and felt my heart sinking. I had never been stood up before. And this was the worst feeling in entirety.

I felt lonely I had no girl friend to call and rant on bout how I got stood up. After two hours of laying in bed disappointed and humiliated I decided to grab a cab and go out. Why was I gonna let him get to me like that. I don't even know him.

I changed into something more nightclub like. And called for a taxi.

As I peered out the cab and saw the many teens and young adults out in the streets in front of the clubs I realized this wasn't my scene. I wasn't a clubber, and I wasn't the best dancer either.

But I walked in anyways after showing my ID to the security guard.

The music was blaring and the darkness was contrasted with the random colors changing on and on throughout the club. 

I was pushing through crowds of sweaty couples rubbing and grinding on each other.

The club was seated all around the walls but the center was the dance floor with a dj to the back wall. I spotted the bar and decided to sit there.

The bar was almost full except for a few empty seats. I pulled up and asked for a vodka because its the only drink I knew I wasn't a drinker I only drank once ever and I only knew vodka from the first time I tried.

As I put the drink down after my sip, I spotted a blonde couple making out by the emergency exit door. I couldn't tell entirely but the boy imagine looked like Luke, which caused my heart to drop. As I took another sip I watched the couple and as he pulled away from the kiss to pick her up holding her ass I saw it was Luke.

My heart dropped. I paid for the drink and left. Rushing out the club and onto the street. I walked down the street passing the whole lot of clubs. 

As I walked I thought This wasn't my scene. And why am I bothered by him kissing another girl. I don't know him. He doesn't know me. She was pretty. Maybe that's why he stood me up. Perfect bleach blonde hair tan figure. Ugh. I grew angrier everytime I thought about the scene of him and her kissing. Asshole, what a dick, makes himself seem gentleman like but stands me up. Uh. I saw a pub across the street looked empty from the window out so I decided to go in.

There wasnt much people in there compared to the club. Few Middle Aged men. A couple of young guys my age maybe a little older. I walked in and took a seat at a table. A young bartender walked over after a few minutes and handed me a drink. 

"The table on your left ordered this for you" the bartender said and I was shocked.

I looked over and saw a guy my age walking over to me.

"I hope you like Scotch on the rocks" he said smiling now standing in front of me.

"Yeah Um thank you" I said but I lied I didn't like alcohol at all I didn't even know why I came here.

"Can I ?" He said pointing at the seat in front of mine.  
I nodded, though I wanted to be alone his appearance made me second think my opinion. He was jaw dropping.

"What's your name?" He said  
"Hazel, you?" I said   
"Harry" he said he had such a bad ass look to him.  
I flashed him a smile, uncomfortable because he was breathtakingly gorgeous and I was awkward

"Now whatchya doing here at a pub prettyy face" he said smiling his comment making me blush.  
"Just getting my drink on" I said thinking could you say anything more stupider at the moment.  
"Hahah drink on, that's cute" he said smiling.  
I nodded not looking up at him but rather at my hands which were fiddling with each other in my lap.

"Silence..dunt..dunt..dun" he said raising his eyebrows making me laugh.  
I laughed and his smile grew.  
"Well lets get our drink on" he said ordering drinks for us.

We got drunk that night shot after shot we said something about ourselves and we didn't even need to think about what we were gonna say it just came out, due to the alcohol. I told him about moving here and life decisions and how health care should be free to everyone. Harry was easy to talk to you, not only because I was drunk but because he didnt judge. 

"It's just I couldn't take the comments they were saying about me, I felt everytime I walked down the hallways the kids would be like oh here she comes or Something like that" I said tears starting to fill my eyes as I thought about high school.

"No no your perfect hazel, everyone gets talked bout it's just life everyone talks about everyone" he said he pulled his chair closer to mine and let me cry on his shoulder.

"It was so hard, having to spend everyday there knowing you had no friends and everyone talked about you. I hated it, I never wanna go back there again. It's why I moved here primarily I just couldn't survive reality over there" I said and he rubbed my back. 

"Your not the first and definitely not the last" he said "I know how it feels when you can't be the real you. Or feel comfortable around people, but know I'm your friend here, your new here and I wanna be your friend I want you to be able to talk about your problems everyone has issues Hazel, some know how to deal with it better or hide them stuff like that" he said.

The bartender walked over to us and said "I'm sorry but by the law we have to stop giving you alcohol of we think it has been enough we got you a cab it's waiting out front." 

Harry and I nodded stumbling as we walked out the pub after paying. The cab driver drove to Harry's house and we decided to hang out a little longer with each other. 

We walked into his flat which was in the center of town and sat in his living room, he brought us both glasses of water so we could flush the toxins out.

We managed to turn on the tv but we didnt pay attention much because he spoke to me about his life, how he's second guessing his life, he's in school for a psychologists, but it's not what he wants to be.  
I listened on and on bout Harry's college life, and I realized I judged harry when I first saw him, his appearance looked so badass that I didn't even think he went to school more like avoided it, but hearing that he is in school to become a psychologist was a plot twist.

"It's just I wanna be a musician, but my parents come from a long family line of psychologist and were known pretty highly and most of family is in the medical field or stuff and I just hate it" he said yawning.

We slowly drifted off into slumber on the couch.


	6. CH 6 cottage

My eyes fluttered open slowly, dizzy at first and I noticed Harry on the other couch asleep. My head was buzzing and as I tried to sit up straight I felt like I was getting hit by a school bus straight into my forehead. Hangover was probably the worst feeling ever. Looking at Harry than at the wide glass window which looking down into town with sun blaring in, I felt horrible. 

I never slept over a guys house before. I never slept with a guy before either. I was feeling trashy looking at my outfit, looking like a modest slut, and then feeling tremendous pain in my head; this wasn't my scene, what in the world caused me to do this. 

I slowly got up and left the flat quietly I didn't want to wake Harry because if I had this headache he was probably gonna have one as well.

Walking on the sidewalk to get to the inn was a good 15 minute walk, but the fresh air I thought would help this headache. 

I couldn't get the 'trashy' feeling out of my head, I felt trashy, I woke up in clothes I was in yesterday, getting out of flat of a guys house I didn't even know, that I practically got drunk with. I never left more low in my life than at this very moment. Though I didn't do anything and all I can remember was conversation and than sleeping I felt like I was being judged my pedestrians walking past me.

I was never going to do this ever again I thought. Why did I even do it in the first place? I was making excuses for myself like; oh you had a tough week moving and the housing issue and transferring immigration information bank accounts and such when really it was because of Luke. 

The other life issues I had to handle were difficult but Luke standing me up was worse, I didn't know him well enough but it felt horrible to be stood up, and then to see him making out with another pretty hot bleached blonde was not good feeling.

I hated this. Why was I hung up so badly on him. He caught my attention from the first moment when he offered to take me to the inn and my suitcase guys in America didn't do that, they were rare and I never found a gentleman like that before. And then the restaurant encounter it felt like a movie scene he ordered me the meal and paid for it, it all felt so surreal and perfect. Why would he stand me up ? Did I say something? Did I do something weird? Uh. My head was only getting worse and I entered the inn and hoped in the shower and then in the bed.

I slept silently because tomorrow was gonna be a long day, I get the keys and I need to get furniture, plus today was just a nothing day.


	7. CH 7 cottage

One week passed by since I left the inn and entered my new cottage home.  
I got much done, furniture and having shipped all my things in from over the states.

I saw Harry a couple of times. We hung out casually and we became friends. So far I hadn't known much people here but Harry was having a house party tomorrow night, so I was actually excited to meet people. 

I made diner for myself in the Small kitchen and felt lonely. The weather didnt do me justice because the gloomy sky out was dampening my mood. 

I hadn't seen Luke. And odd thing was I was out and about in town everyday buying things to fill my home inside with. I had slightest of hope that Id see him again but I never did. 

My house phone rang and I Answered, it was my parents.

"How is it over there?" My mother asked  
"It's wonderful" I said   
"Yeah, um" she said  
"How Are my sisters?" I asked knowing she didnt wanna talk about Ireland .  
"Good good" she said I heard her tone change.  
"How's dad?" I asked feeling my heart shatter   
"Hazel, I'm not going to lie to you and say he's good, you know, you know how you left this home and how you left him" she said "health wise he is good, living and breathing"

My heart was aching. I told her bye After awhile of talking about a few other things to ship off to me. The conversation was horrible.

My father didnt like the decision. He said a young lady shouldn't be off in the world gone somewhere shes never been, she should be married preparing to be a housewife. My father was old style traditional. I knew he didn't want anything to do with me when he heard me rebelling to my mother how I leavin for Ireland and he disowned me at that moment. He said he didn't raise a problem child, he wanted tradition get married to a good man make grandchildren cook clean. But that wasnt me. I didnt want that.

Seeing from my mother whenever they'd fight about something my mother never had a voice he was always right, even when he was utterly wrong. Though my parents loved each other and were crazy about each other; my mother never had a voice in opinion and that bothered me a lot.

My parents didnt fight a lot, but when they did it was scary. It was fighting or yelling but rather silence. My mom would usually voice her opinion about something and then a quarrel would emerge and they'd ignore each other until my mom said she was wrong. Which bothered me a lot. I didnt want that. I didn't want a relationship where I couldn't speak up for myself.

I began crying thinking about the lecture my mother was about to recieve from my father, how she let me grow up this way, and my sisters getting a lecture how everything I'm doing is wrong. 

My father wasnt a bad person. He was, actually is an amazing father. Always supported us, newest toys, phones laptops, biggest birthday party's anything we wanted, only if we listened to him. He always wanted us to agree with him, it was his way or the highway. Everytime I said something, anything it was wrong.

*Flashback

Radio host; gay activist revolt against bill passed in Middle East forbidding marriage...'

"Gay people is wrong, those people are sick, god said man and wife only not man and man woman and woman" my father said.

"There's nothing wrong with that dad, love is love" I said trying to finish before he interpreted quickly 

"No no no no gay is wrong. Okay Hazel, is school teaching you this?! Your friends !? No more hanging out, no. It's wrong. God doesn't want that. They will go to hell Hazel" he said

"Dad it's not school or my friends people are people, everyone " I said before he interrupted again

"NO! Hazel! It's wrong. God said no to homosexuals. Is this from your stupid books?! Tv where are you getting this from gay is wrong wrong wrong. End of story. It's wrong. Don't ever let me hear you say something like that again. It's wrong. Does your mother know you think this way? I'll talk to her bout raising you, she's raising a problem child, your a disgrace back talking your father" he went on and on. 

I just stared out the window. Not listening to him. He bothered me. Though I couldn't back talk him out loud I did it in my head because I knew he was wrong. My poor mother will get a lecture now how I'm learning disgraceful things and that shes raising a problem child. 

*end of flash back.

Every since that incident in the car about gay rights, I never disagreed with my father, just nodded and acted like I totally agreed, because I could t stand his lectures. 

My father was complicated, but I love him. No matter what he's still my father. 

I began to have a headache thinking about my dad so I decided to head to bed and sleep it off.


	8. CH 8 Cottage

I woke this morning from the thunder blaring outside. The heavy rain was scary but comforting. I decided to take a shower and head to town this afternoon. 

After taking everything minute by minute, making my bed, tidying up, taking a shower, and preparing breakfast for self, I sat alone at the table. 

I felt silence. Normally in my family house it would be loud, my mother putting a million meals out for breakfast my sisters arguing for which seat to take, my father and his lectures or being on my phone with someone for business. 

But now, I was sat alone, at a two seat table. Though I missed them terribly, the new found silence and being alone was relaxing. 

I didnt have to worry if I accidentally say something that would piss my father off, and I didn't have to worry about what time I woke up, I did everything at my own pace. 

I was finished with breakfast, got dressed and headed out walking to the town center with an umbrella with me due to leftover drizzle from the thunderstorm. 

My mother would kill me if she'd known I was outside during the rain. But I felt rebellious, I finally did something where I didn't worry about my parents catching me, even though I still had it in the back of my mind that they'd freak if they saw me, this alone me was feeling good.

I didnt avoid the puddles, rather stepped on them purposely, I began loving the rain more and more everyday.

I was getting close to the town center where the sunny was shining just a tad from the cloudy gray sky. Nearing the Main Street was the shops and boutiques. I entered a boutique which was beyond expensive and quickly exited once I saw the price tag of a plain T-shirt. 

My parents aren't supporting me financially because they do not support my decision coming here. And I knew that from the get-go. So since freshman year of high school I saved and saved and worked two jobs telling my parents it was for college. I saved every penny but even that wasnt enough, the move was going to be expensive and I knew that. 

One day in art class, which I was forced to take by my guidance counselor because she felt I needed a fun class because I was over loading myself with the advanced placement classes I had, the art teacher spoke about competitions. 

I never really thought artist judged art work, I thought everyone liked it even if it was so wonderful; but I was wrong there went so much more into that. She spoke about how one of her students two years ago won a prize for her self portrait, the girl got $10,000 and an award presented by Meryl Streep, and I felt I needed that, it was quick money, I just needed to make the art work look perfect. 

My first art piece was a disaster I didn't know what I was doing, and I wasn't accepted into the nationals competition, but I worked hard and hard after a couple of denied pieces one piece was finally accepted but I got 3rd place of $1000. It wasnt much but I knew now what they judged wanted, everyday I did something and looked for everything that could inspire me, and then I finally started winning, 2nd place a couple of times of $5000 and then I finally won 1st place in my sophomore year of high school. Junior and senior year I worked and worked and won every 1st competition that's how I got by with the Cash.

My parents were devastated when I told them a week before I moved that I was leaving them. They thought I was joking at first, but soon realized I was dead serious. I told them that I saved my money up for the move and that it was all so that I could come to Ireland to become me, and my father blamed my mother for raising a horrible child, he told her that she should have watched me, should have known as a mother what I was doing. He always blamed her, and I hated it. 

I walked into a book store again where I saw A line of girls, standing in the center of the book store, apparently for a book signing. 

I walked past them to see how the person was, but they looked unknown and I didn't recognize the book either.

The book store on the outside looked tiny but inside it was enormous, three levels and a whole bunch of space. 

I went to the third level to pick so book at random and read it. I went up stairs and noticed like a college lounge kind of level. I walked around and noticed a flyer that said accepting students for free coffee and homework help. I felt like shit, I was probably the only kid in the world who loved school, like a WIERDO, but I loved learning I wasn't the best though I was getting average grades in my advanced classes but I just love listening to random intellectual topics.

I pulled the first book off the right handed shelf, noticed "The Fault in our stars by John green" on it and purchased it. 

Walking out the book shop I went through several stores browsing and such. 

I entered one store which was musical instruments, I wasn't a musician I didn't know anything about music, but I looked around there were guitars hanging on the wall and records on another loud music playing, the vibe was amazing in the music store. 

As I bent over to pull a record out from the bottom shelf I pushed really hard that I fell, hitting my head on the shelf. 

Rubbing my head I felt really bad pain and dizziness it was a rough push.

I looked around but there was no one near me, I felt weird, did I fall? I knew I wasn't crazy I was pushed but I didn't see any one, so I just walked out of the store still rubbing my head and trying to gather my insanity. 

Someone started yelling at me behind me "HEY HEY ARE YOU HAZEL ?" The person asked as I turned around the person being tackled by Luke.

I pulled from their direction and decided to keep walking. I didn't want to see Luke, even though I really did, I didn't because it feels horrible knowing you were stood up.

"HEY! WHERE YA GOING?" The other boy called hearing Luke tell him to shut up.

I walked across the street and down some allies to avoid Luke and his friend, where I soon bumped into Harry and his friends. 

"HAZELLLL!"Harry said pulling me into a hug  
"Harry" I said his hugs felt like I'd known him for ages.   
"What's up! Whatchya doing tonight ? We should go out to Pure tonight were all meeting up there at 11" he said pointing to his couple of guy friends and girl friends I was introduced to all of them and we all went to diner before our night club meet up. 

Diner was good, simple italian restaurant Harry's friends were welcoming all giving and accepting phone numbers, I wasn't feeling alone for a moment. 

I went home to change. I knew it was a bad thing going to the club, it wasnt my scene it wasnt me but I wanted to go, how was I suppose to meet people if I'm stuck in this house all day I thought to myself.

I was soon and ready walking down stairs of the cottage about to open the door when it rang. 

I opened it and saw Luke.


	9. CH 9 cottage

I opened it and saw Luke.  
I tried not to look surprised. Like I didn't care that he was at my house at 10:30.

"Woah, your dressed to see me" He said smiling trying to make a joke, I didn't laugh.   
I stepped out the door way and onto the street facing the door I put the key in and said "no I'm actually going somewhere" and I locked the door. 

I started walking away from him and towards the main road where I'd meet Harry to pick me up. He followed. 

"Hazel, are you ignoring me?" He said pulling at my wrist turning me around and into him.

I pushed myself off of him and said "no I'm not, I have somewhere to be" and turned around and kept walking.

"Just tell me what's wrong" he said which angered me.  
"Don't act like you don't know" I said walking ahead of him and he was right behind me.  
"Hazel, I can explain " he said, but I saw Harry's car approaching and pulling up to the curb  
"Too late" I said looking back at him, he was standing there, anger flashed his face, and I turned around when Harry pulled down the passenger window and said "come on hazel" with a smile.

I got in the car said my hi to Harry and looked out the window to see if luke was still there, he wasnt. 

The entire drive was picking up his friends and then to the club. I was bothered by luke, he ruined my entire night, because I knew I'd be thinking about him, like he didnt know he stood me up.   
I was lost in thought when Harry smacked my thigh lightly "you okay bud?" He said  
I smiled "yes pal" it was a little inside joke Harry and I had when we got drunk. 

We finally parked and entered the club. Music blaring, beautiful bodies dancing to the insanely loud music, love and alcohol being mixed. Harry got us a VIP section, where we all mingled and drank and splurged words. It felt fun, in the moment being intoxicated not necessarily caring what's happening, we were lost in the moment. 

The VIP section was getting crowded, random girls harry and his friends pulled from downstairs were flooding in, apparently harry was pretty famous in town. A girl shoved into, I apologized being nice and all she did was fall over onto the couch like seat and splurge words.

I decided to head downstairs to maybe feel a better more exciting vibe on the dance floor. But before putting my two left feet to work I decided to have a few more shots so that I wouldn't feel the embarrassment if my dance got worse. 

3 shots later and I was somewhere centered in the dance floor grinding on some guy. He was attractive, tall, and seemed not to be bothered with my inexperience of clubbing. 

He placed his head in the crook of neck, his hands on my waist and saying "hey baby lets take this back to myself" and grinded right into me. I felt like I was giving the wrong message and turned around and said "no thank you" and attempting to walk away "dumb bitch think your too pretty" he said spitting at me than grabbing the girl next to them and started making out. I walked off, did that girl seriously not see what just happened? I was appalled by the situation that I thought it was time for me to leave. 

I went over to the bar tender to ask him to call a cab, while he was calling I looked over to my left seeing people dancing drinking making out and then to my right where I saw Luke. 

He was with some brown haired girl skinny tan pushing her against the wall near the exit door Making out. 

Looking at the situation I couldn't take my eyes off them, when the bar tender said "miss they'll be out front in five" I nodded and said my thanks and pulled my gaze of Luke and his new girl and walked out the club waiting for the cab.   
The cab took me home and I showered and hopped onto the couch of the living room, I started at the ceiling. Does Luke make out with every girl? He seems to get girls easy, the blonde chick, tonight's chick, the two girls from the restaurant with his buddies. It bothered me, does he play girls? I shook my head and told myself I didn't need any of that, I knew what I went through in high school and I don't need it to be repeated with Luke.

***flashback

I starred at the cell phone screen, seeing the comments of me on twitter "shes such a whore" "can she get any sluttier?" "I fucked her behind the football field"   
Tears flew down my face as I starred at my friends phone.   
"I'm sorry ! I told you I didn't wanna show you ! Hazel it's gonna be okay, they're all jerks they won't get any where in life" she said pulling me into a hug "please don't listen to them, your not a slut you know that" I couldn't control my breath from my tears. And held onto my friend as I cried into her shoulder. 

***end of flashback

No, Id never let myself get to that place again. Lowest point in my life. I don't wanna be another girl, another number another easy slut.   
I closed my eyes and put my hands on my face. Nothing could be worse than what high school did to me. 

As much as I told myself to control myself about Luke, he was attractive and his personality was charming, he was hard not to think about, like the hot guy you crush on at school. Just because Luke was making out with two girls doesn't mean anything? Right? Was I judging him? He can do whatever he wants. I hardly know him.

I hardly know him. I hardly know him is all I kept telling myself, so by Couldn't I get him off my mind? He wasn't a bad guy, except for standing me off. He didn't do anything bad to me that was terrible, maybe he just didn't wanna hang out that day. But why was he making out with the blonde girl a couple of hours later? I began to frustrate myself with pointless thoughts about Luke. 

"Get over it hazel" I said to myself.


	10. Ch 10 cottage

I was washing the the dishes the next day. I picked up the sharp knife that was in the sink from previously cutting potatoes to clean the stains off, when the sudden loud thumping on the door scared me and I cut my palm. 

My palm started bleeding quickly and I grabbed paper towel put it around my hand and opened the door. Luke.

I squinted my eyes because my vision was getting hazed and the pain in my palm was intense. 

"Hazel I came to explain myself" luke said   
And my eyes were so hazed I barely noticed him step inside.   
"Dear lord what happened?!" He said and pulled me to the bathroom. I couldn't say anything I felt like crying from the pain. 

I sat on my toilet with my eyes closed as Luke tired to stop my palm from bleeding like crazy. 

He found the first aid kit and aided my ever so bleeding palm. 

"Hazel, hazel"he said kneeling down looking at me " does it still hurt ? Are you feeling nauseous? Should I are you to the hospital ?" He said

I shock my head no, feeling my palm shake. My eyes started to close and the pain was even more intense. 

"Hazel !hazel !" Was the last thing I heard. 

*couple of hours later. 

Luke had rushed me to the hospital where they stitched my palm up, the cut was deep and scratched a part of my bone. 

I was walked out from the care unit, when I saw Luke sitting outside of it. 

"Hazel? You okay?" He said with all seriousness   
I nodded and swallowed "thank you".

He smiled at me causing me to smile. I checked myself out and Luke drove me home. We drove in silence.We finally got home, entered in and sat on the couch.

"Do you want something to drink? Eat?" I said standing up   
"Hazel, the doctor said you shouldn't use your hand, there will be pain for a couple of days sit down, I'm not thirsty nor hungry" he said patting the seat next to myself.

"How'd you cut yourself so deep?" Luke said as I sat down he moved over closer to me when he noticed I left a gap between us.

"I was washing the dishes you were thumping on the door which startled me and the knife kind of cut my palm" I said looking at my palm which was covered in white fabric.

"It's my fault? I'm so sorry! I couldn't find a door bell ringer oh god I'm so sorry" he said lookin down at my palm.  
"It's not your fault, I was startled easily" I said half smiling at him, not wanting to make me feel bad.

After five minutes of trying to convince he it wasn't his fault he said "I'm sorry"   
"Luke I told you it's not your fault! How much longer are we going to continue" I said trying to finish my sentence before being interrupted  
"No no no bout standing you up" he said looking around the house and then at me  
"Oh...it's fine" I said, feeling my stomach burn.  
"It's not fine hazel" he said  
"No no I get it you probably had other stuff to do" I said looking at my palm becoming frustrated.  
"It's just that I " he continued but I interpreted  
"It's fine. Luke I wanna rest now" I said not wanting to hear what his excuse was.   
"Oh. Okay I'll leave." He said looking at me disappointed  
"Thank you for helping me" I said not wanting to be a dick, by nicely asking him to leave.  
"Anytime" he said and stood up I walked him to the door and said "thank you again" faking a smile.  
"I'd do anything, anytime you need something ask me I'll do it, help around the house "he offered "washing dishes because we now know your not so good at it" winking at him.

I couldn't help but me cold to him.

It's not the wanted to but I decided it would be better for me. I don't need the extra luggage, I thought I liked him when I first met him all charming and helpful but life isn't a fairy tale hazel, you know that. 

I was looking at my palm as I laid on under my covers. I began thinking about an incident that happened my junior year of high school, when I standing in line in the cafeteria waiting to buy my meal I noticed a girl handing the lunch lady money with scars all over her arm. They looked old and rather painful, I noticed it and shook my head I looked over to my best friend and pointed to my arm and then titling my head towards the girl. 

My friend whispered in my ear " yeah shes done that since freshman year, yeah she stopped now been clean awhile but family issues is what I heard" I looked at my best friend with wide eyes, I just never thought as pain for healing. 

I snapped back to reality looking at my palm and just imagining the pain she went through, though my cut was by accident she did hers purposely to heal, I got goosebumps thinking about her dark large scars on her arm. I always felt bad, whenever I saw the girl in the hallways I told her I liked her outfit or where did she get that shirt, I just wanted to make her feel better at school since her family life wasnt so good. 

I dozed off into sleep from all the thinking.


	11. Ch 11 cottage

Harry came over today we casually socialized and joked around, he was my only real friend here, though I was introduced to his friends some of them were a bit stuck up while he was the complete opposite. 

"Harry is there a store here that sells cheap antiques?" I asked  
"I know there's the antique by my house but it's all bloody expensive, um cheap, I think maybe a few kilometers from town there might be?" He said  
"Oh, everythings cheaper in America, you guys don't have a lot of sales and clearances like America does, we have them all the time, I remember buying jeans for five dollars each!" I said missing my shopping in America  
"$5 ?" Harry said looking surprised like I said I killed some one "we don't have sales like that, everything's normally priced here " he said   
"Normally priced harry? It's so expensive ! I went to Topshop, and walked right out." I said laughing  
"Well topshop is topshop " he said  
"True but still I think I'll just order online from America or have my sister buy me clothes and send it over here" I said 

We continued talking like that when we got into the conversation of why I left so early at the night club.

"You should of told me that the guy violated you! You know I have your back, I told you, your like Gemma to me" he said   
"Yeah but it's not a big deal, I mean it's the scenery there, we all wanna meet and hook up I mean right that's what the clubs about?" I said   
"No well yeah but still he was a dickhead" Harry said

I was wearing an oversized sweater when I rolled a sleeve up and harry noticed the white fabric rapped around my palm   
"What happened?!" He said  
"Oh I got cut washing the dishes, yeah painfully" I said laughing it off   
"When did it happen? how'd you go to the hospital? You don't have insurance yet" he said  
"Yeah I had to pay around 175 £ but um I just went"   
"But how'd you know where, it's impossible to get into the hospital in this town they make you wait forever"  
"Well it was an emergency harry so they rushed me in you know?" I said  
"Oh yeah, what they tell you about it?"   
"That the cut was deep I scratched a part of the bone right there" I said pointing to my other palm in the center   
"Yikes, painfull?" He said squinting his eyes  
"Extremely, Honestly I can't believe I cut myself that deep the knife was very sharp but I hate thinking about it, blood makes me faint" I said shaking my head  
"Blah! Me too can't stand it seeing anyone in pain" he said

We watched tv and laughed at some reality shows, when we decided to go out to eat. 

Harry drove us to town, and parked his car by his apartment which was in the center of best street in town.

We went to the famous steakhouse, sat ordered, instead of ordering the enormous steak Luke had ordered me some time ago, I took the all American cheese burger.

Harry and I were talking about his degree once more, and how he has an external assignment due tomorrow that he's been working on forever but knows its shit. One of Harry's buddy came up to him and they chatted, and Harry offered the guy a seat and he declined he was here with his mom and sisters and just saw harry to catch up. 

They talked for a good five minutes, Harry had introduced me, and the guy kept saying he knew me. 

"I seriously don't know you, I've never met you, I'm new here" I said   
"Yeah she just moved here from Florida. You can't possibly know her, Ashton" Harry said  
"No no I know her, I just can't put my finger on it " Ashton said 

We continued on and he decided to get back to his mother and sisters. Before ashton left he said, though he knows me from somewhere else it was nice meeting me.

Our food came and the cheeseburger was enormous. I just can't get a break here at the steak house, they seem to overload you with food. 

"Hazel, are you sure you can eat all that ?" Harry said looking at the food then to me.  
"Hopefully, It was said america is number one in obesity but I think Ireland is, look at the burger!" I said.

Somehow I was eating my burger slowly when I saw Luke walk in, he was alone.  
He stood when he saw a waiter which looked like a friend of his when he guy hugged and chatted on as Luke was seated next to the same blonde chick from a couple of nights ago. 

I stopped looking at Luke when Harry noticed.  
"Don't dare bother with him" Harry said  
"No I " I said trying to act it off  
"Trust me, stay away, he's not your type of friend" Harry said giving me a stern look. "You know hazel, your a sister to me, you can get any guy, just not him, trust me, your better off" he said and I nodded my head. 

Good thing I didn't tell him who took me to the hospital. Harry and I were done eating after ten minutes and harry paid, as we were walking out Luke was starring at us and Harry put his hand on my back and purposely guided me out of Luke's distance. 

Harry and I decided to walk around the shops. Harry insisted on entering Topshop and we did and he looked around and I did too, though I wasn't looking too closely because I knew Id see something and not be able to afford it. 

That's when I stopped an amazing dress, it stood out.  
I pulled it off the hanger. And stared at it I was too scared to look at the price. 

They only had one left in my size and I pulled the tag from the side of the dress to check the price.  
Dear lord. 289£. 

I put it back nicely and walked away disappointed looking around for Harry.

I finally spotted him when he called my name.

"You find anything?" He said  
"Haha did I ?" I said   
"Anything catch your eye" he said  
"Everything's nice here, just a bit overpriced for my doing." I said   
"Eh, whatchya like in here" he said  
"Nothing" I said sarcastically   
Harry and I walked through more stores and I decided to head home after about a hour later.

I didnt have harry drive me, though he insisted I decided to walk. The night slowly crept on.

As I approached my little bundle I saw Luke sitting on the concrete step by the door. 

I didnt really know what to do, I couldn't avoid him, I was going home, and I didn't really want to speak to him.

I walked awkwardly or at least I thought I did, only ya few feet away and he saw me and stood up.

"Hi" he said  
"Hi" I said   
He put his hands through his hair as we stood on the concrete step together  
"Can we hang out ?" Luke said  
"I'm really tired, I'm sorry" I said as I pushed the key in and turned the knob.  
"We don't have to go out maybe stay inside ?" Luke said  
" I'm really tired luke, im sorry" I said, purposely denying him.  
"What'd he tell you" Luke said  
"Who?" I said  
"Don't play dumb hazel, I know harry told you" Luke said  
"He didnt tell me anything?" I said   
"Your lying" Luke said  
"I'm not" I said inside the doorway  
"Im sorry Luke, but its late Im tired Ive been out all day" I Said closing the door slowly.

Luke put his hand on the door and pushed it open.

"Hazel" Luke said almost trying to enter

"Luke, next time, Im tired" I said

He nodded his head "Goodnight Hazelnut" he said forcing a smile

"Goodnight Luke" and I closed the door, locking it and heading up to bed to rest my woren out legs.


	12. CH 12 cottage

The next three days I spent grocery shopping, doing home decor, hanging with Harry and his friends and cleaning. 

On the fourth day, the door bell rang.

I opened and saw harry leaning his side on the dirt frame grinning with his hands behind his back.

"Guess what" he said smiling so wide.  
"Chicken butt" I said and giggled.   
"No hazel uh guess again" he said standing straight now.  
"I'm a bad guesser so just tell me" I said  
"Your no fun, well guess who has tickets to the DMF?" He said   
"This ones a hard one" I said " let me guess you?" I said and laughed  
"So funny hazel, and yes!" He said showing the tickets to me as he walked in.  
"And guess whose going! You " he said plopping down on the couch.  
"I don't even know what it is" I said  
"It's the Dublin Music Festival, it lasts all weekend from Friday night, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday; you like stay in tents and meet people stuff like that" he said   
"Oh wow, I never been to one of those, is it like the Leeds festival?" I said  
"Yeah ugh kind of except this ones in Dublin" he said "here's your ticket be ready tomorrow morning me you And everyone else are driving down early so we can set up tents and get the best spot" 

"How much do I owe you? For the ticket and gas?" I said  
"Nothing " he said now walking over to my refrigerator   
"Harry, I'm serious you can't pay everything for me"  
Now opening the refrigerator and pulling out a bottle of water he said "nope, I told you, your like Gemma to me, your my sister I got you" he said sipping the drink.  
"Harry please" I said going through my purse to pull my wallet out.  
"No need to go through that I'm not accepting the cash from you so" he said shrugging his shoulder grabbing a banana and walking back over to his pervious position on the couch   
"Is there anything interesting on tv?"he said flipping through channels  
I took 50£ out of my wallet and walked over to him to give it to him   
"Hazel!" He said "no, I'm not taking this "and put it back in my purse.

"Harry" I said " I feel uncomfortable like this"   
"Sucks to be you then" he said   
"Harry " I said   
"Hazel, I don't care I'm not taking the money I don't wanna go through this every time end of story, everytime your with me, your not paying a cent" he said with a stern face.

"Now back to the channels? Oh! Look downtown abbey" he said   
We watched downtown abbey for a bit, but then I had harry help me choose what to take with me as of clothes for the festival.

We ended up packing four shirts and 4 jeans. Harry said even that was too much, everyone usually changed twice in the three day period but since it was my first time going it was acceptable to have this many wardrobe changes.

After Harry left, I showered and hopped in bed since we had a long road trip ahead of us and an early morning.


	13. CH 13 cottage

Harry picked me up last and the car was a bit crowded but we managed. We were now two hours into the drive and it seemed like eternity. We tried to help time pass with playing music and talking but it didn't help the boring aura, maybe it was the fact that it was so early. 

Harry was driving, after another 45minutes when he said "alright were stopping here for gas, restroom and snacks so "

We all nodded some needing food some needing toilet some needing fresh air from getting car sick. 

We finally stopped at the pump when I got out to buy a bag of chips. Harry went inside to pay for the gas. I walked in few feet behind him and strolled through various goodies I can choose from to satisfy my guilty pleasures of fattening food. I was at the register paying for my chips and energy drink when Nick came up to me.

"The toilet was disgusting " nick said  
"Thanks nick I really needed to hear that seeing that I'm buying food" I said   
We walked out together approaching harry as he was holding the pump and talking to some male figure. 

As we approached I noticed it was Ashton. The odd thing was ashton didn't come with us.

Harry was pulling the tube out the car and closing the lid for the gas.

"Hey hazel" ashton said smiling wide.  
"Hi" I said with a weak smile  
"Ashton's going to the festival as well how weird? " Harry said  
"Yeah mate I had tickets for the longest been waiting forever" he said  
I nodded and walked over to open my door and sit.

I noticed ashton pull harry away and towards his car. Everyone else was already seated and waiting for Harry. 

Ashton's and Harry's conversation grew short as Harry's facial expression turned angry. As Harry walked off ashton pulled him by his forearm and whispered something in his ear and then harry walked back to the car and seated himself. 

He started the car and drove off increasingly fast. 

"Aye slow down we don't need a ticket on the way to the festival" nick said  
Harry didnt reply instead slowed down a bit but still fast.

Time was my enemy, it seemed as though we were never going to get there. 

I stared out the window, seeing all the grass lands made me think of my family.

I put in my earphones to block out the discussion the others were having to focus on my own thoughts.

It started bothering me. My family took many road trips almost every weekend new places to explore. 

I picked at my fingers as I thought about the discussion I had with my father a long time ago on our last road trip before he realized I was leaving. 

 

I closed my eyes to try to stop thinking about that memory. 

I opened my eyes slowly and looked down at my hands. 

My accident finally healed and all that was left was a scar. I brushed my fingers over the mark.

I stared out the window again, and tried not to think about the infamous road trips. 

"Hazel?" Harry said.   
"Yeah?" I replied  
"You haven't been talking? You okay?" He said   
"Yes I am" I said nodding.   
"We only have another thirty minutes till we get there, were close buddy" he said turning around slightly and smiling then turning background quickly to continue driving. 

We began pulling into a large field, maybe 25 acres or so, filled with cars at one end and then a sea of tents. As we parked we got our bags and tents that the boys carried and proceeded walking. I noticed a large stage in the center and then tents circled 30-40 feet away from it. 

We were somewhere almost in the center of the field and placed our belongings down. 

There were six of us and three tents, two in each person. I was partnered with Ellie, a sweet blonde girl who also happened to be a distant cousin of Nicks. 

 

As the other boys prepared the tents Ellie decided we walk around find beer. 

We walked past many teens and young adults putting their tents up with camping chairs and drinking up blasting music from their wireless radios. 

"I can not wait! Mcfly will perform!" Ellie said   
I nodded " yeah there awesome" awkward moment when I never heard listened to any of their music but she can go on and on about a topic (Harry's words) and I didn't want to listen to her go on and on about the band, no harsh feelings towards the band, I just wasnt in the mood.

"Hazel! Hazel!Hazel!" I turned around and saw Ashton call my name.   
I gave him a weak smile and waved turning back around to continue walking with Ellie. 

"Hold up!" He said running up to me.  
"Hey babe" he said noticing Ellie and hugging her and then turning to me "I know how I know you now!" He said 

"What?" I said  
"Yeah yeah I remembered, you were at the music store and I accidentally pushed into you, totally sorry about that hazel, that's a " he was saying to me but was interrupted by Ellie's screaming

"Luke!" She said noticing him come out of what looked like to be Ashton's and his tents and then hugging him.

Oh that makes sense. The accident in the music shop and on the street. 

"It's fine" I said nodding  
"Are you sure? I'm really sorry totally didnt mean to !" He said scratching the back of his head.  
"No hard feelings " I replied.  
"Good but lets not tell Harry about the accident or Luke, are you guys a thing?" He said   
"No" I said shaking my head side to side.

Luke walked up to us with Ellie.  
"Hi" luke said smiling at me which made me smile so hard I couldn't look up at him but instead looked down at the ground.   
"Hi" I said as I slowly lifted my head to look up to him, he seemed to glow today, his eyes were especially blue and his hair was insanely perfect. 

"Can I pull you away for a second?" Luke said and I nodded but ashton and Ellie didnt Notice as they proceeded into some conversation of their own.  
"Yeah so, are you staying all weekend" he said.  
I nodded.  
"Now hazelnut, I like hearing your voice I don't want you to nod at everything I say" he said as touched my hand.  
He lifted the hand and looking at the scar. His face changed as he brushed his warm long fingers over my scar. "I'm so sorry about that Hazel" he said

"It's fine luke" I said as I put my hand over the scar. He was still holding the back of my hand but put his other hand over mine. He pulled my hand closer to his chest, which caused my body to tug closer to his, he put his mouth closer to my ear. 

"I want to see you tonight, after mcflys performance, when the instrumental plays" he said softly into my ear. "Will you meet me up tonight?" He said 

I couldn't resist, the way he whispered in my ear and held my hand close to his chest made me feel warm and think of the request as sincere.   
It took me a few moments to reply.   
"Yes" I said   
He looked me now straight in the face which only made me insecure and stared down at the ground.   
"Your adorable" he said as he pulled my chin up to his face.  
" after the Mcfly concert I'll have Ashton find you" he said  
I nodded knowing he was referring to Harry, that we couldn't just meet up. 

"See you tonight, Hazelnut" he said and walked back off to Ashton telling something to both Ellie and Ashton, and then Ellie walked back over to me and we continued walking.

"Don't speak about Luke around Harry" Ellie said  
"Okay" I said   
"Just harry and him have a bad history so it's better that we don't tell him about our encounter" she said  
"Of course " I said nodding.  
"You have Luke, I have ashton" she said with a wide grin and hugged my side "we are going to have so much fun !" She said  
I nodded still feeling the butterflies from Luke. 

After around ten minutes of walking around we went back to our area, the tents were set up and harry was sitting on one of camp chairs.

"Back all ready Ellie, I'd expect a couple more hours out of your disappearance" he said teasing Ellie  
"Oh shut up dickhead I wasn't hooking up that fast!" She defended.   
"Ellie watch hazel, we have unliked company here this weekend be careful" he said referring the last line towards me.  
"Harry, I'm standing right here" I said feeling offended.  
"I know you are, but I'm just making sure Ellie understands" he said  
Harry sounded like my father. I walked into the tent and laid down, I listened to him go on and on to ellie about the unliked company and I imagined my father, whenever he'd hold a conversation with my friends or my mother or anyone whenever I went out to the mall (which was never) or to school or to anywhere. I always had that "watch what your doing" statement from my father which bothered me, in itched under my skin. 

I was constantly controlled with no freedom, I never replied to my fathers irritating sentences so I just let them slide instead of fighting back. There was no use when you had a father as stubborn as mine. 

Ellie came in and zipped up the tent. "Fucking dickhead" she said "if he ever shuts up dear bloody hell".

I nodded "at least we have tonight" I said whispering and she grinned largely.  
"Ssh Debbie downer over there can't know he'll rip our bloody heads off"   
I nodded and we both chuckled.   
Ellie pulled out a large bag, and started opening it where makeup pallets and brushes and cosmetics were.   
"Lets get ready!" She said.  
We had about an hour until the festival began with the bands. And she seemed to not get Harry's message about packing lightly, apparently no one did, only harry and I.


	14. CH 14 Cottage

Ellie did my makeup, she seemed to know hat shes was doing explaining to me, the contour and this and that. I just held my head still while she did my makeup.   
"Okay, um dont open your eyes, I wanna add some volume to your hair" she said 

"Volume?" I said "I didnt do much with my hair left it natural or straight.   
"Just a tad I promise I won't go over board!" She said ruffling through her small suitcase.  
I just nodded.

She began grabbing parts of my hair and teasing, then adding hairspray and playing around with it for a few moments.

"Okay okay let me get a mirror!" She said "Here".

I opened my eyes to the small mirror and was shocked. I couldn't believe that was me. I stared at the makeup which was flawlessly done. My face looked exceptional, I couldn't help but smile, moving the mirror around I saw the hair, almost full of life flowing and high. 

Ellie held the mirror and I couldn't stop looking at myself. My hair and makeup. I felt so comfortable in my own skin. I wouldn't feel awkward if a microscope was zoomed into my face down to the smallest pore, because with Ellie's skills my skin was flawless.

"Oh god, I'm speechless thank you" I said  
"No problem hazel!" She said hugging me "just stay away from ashton!"   
We both giggled. 

We changed into our night clothes as we checked our phones realizing we had only a few more moments before the concert begins. The tent was large, for the two of us there was much space to move bout. 

Harry called out of the tent. "Ready?!" He said.  
I unzipped the tent and walked out. "Yeah" I said.

The others walked in front of Ellie and I. But Harry let the others infront of him and walked beside Ellie and I.

"Ellie, let me talk to hazel for a moment" he said almost demanding.   
Ellie breathed "dickhead" under her breath, but Harry and I heard her comment, she was still upset from him being so controlling of us. 

"Hazel?"he said as we walked by people and tents nearing the stage.

"Yeah?" I said not looking at him but rather into the crowd hoping to see Luke somewhere.   
"Look, hazel, 'sorry bout earlier, it's just" he continued but I interrupted him  
"It's fine harry." I said  
"But you " he said before I interupted again.   
"Harry it's fine." I said once more  
"Okay" is all he said

We walked in silence. I felt bad for interrupting him, but I only did it purposely, I didn't want to hear his apology I just wasnt in the mood. 

We finally reached the view of the stage. We were centered in the middle of the crowd not to close not o far. 

A fairly important person came on the stage after a few minutes and welcomed the crowd. Screaming "whoses ready tonight!" In which everyone screamed mostly likely damaging their throat. 

There was a unknown band playing who wasnt mainstream. After of couple of songs and the crowd screaming to words they didnt know but some did, another performer came on a girl singer who sang most beautifully her voice was epic and moved the crowd, everyone knew the words to her song except me, which was mildly awkward swaying to the music but not knowing the lyrics all of sudden Mcfly was announced. The crowd started pushing forward and people started pushing each other to get closer. 

I was being pushed far away from Harry and the group and I moved back since everyone was moving forward. I began feeling claustrophobic and the people get pushing through. 

Mcfly was beginning a song. I couldn't see them only here. I started finishing my way from the stage and towards the back but I couldn't get rid, rude people gave me dirty looks and comments, telling me I'm going the wrong way or to watch out. I was feeling scared. But I decided to push through to the right hopefully reaching the end of the crowd and into the field of grass. It took me a few minutes, nasty comments from the crowd and an overwhelming feeling but I finally got through. 

The sky was pitch dark. And I walked away from the crowd and toward the outskirts to hopefully find Ellie, or Harry, or anyone. I sat on the grassy field now at least twenty feet away from crowd and watched the small figure band play their music. They were amazing. 

I began picking the grass out the ground laying my head on my knees. I began thinking how'd Ellie and Harry find me? How will Ellie find me? Luke, we were suppose to have meeting after the Mcfly concert.

I puffed out a loudly breath. When someone nudged me. 

"Hazelnut" he said and I recognized it was Luke's voice.   
I looked up and couldn't help my smile, my stomach filling up entirely with butterflies.   
He sat down next to me.  
"Hi" he said   
"Hi" I said and smiled.   
"You look pretty" he said brushing some hair away from my face, which seemed to have gotten ruined when I placed my head on my knees.   
"Thank you" I said   
"You okay?" He said  
"Yeah, just got lost in the crowd" I said, sounding stupid once again, I didn't want Luke to think I was some lost puppy who couldn't get around with help from someone else.  
"It happens. I actually noticed you in the crowd when you were pushing through people, you pushed someone in front of me, and I followed you out but you were going to fast" he said

 

My stomach fluttered as he said that. I thought of this old song my mother told me where the lines went something like: "and in a crowd of a million faces all I would see is you" 

He noticed me in a crowd of so many. 

I smiled and we sat in silence. 

Luke started thumping his head and singing along to one of Mcflys songs. 

"Today I'm laughing the clouds away  
I hear what the flowers say" he sang quietly looking down at the grass  
"And drink every drop of rain  
And I see places that I have been" he looked up and sang getting a bit louder and turning his head towards me  
"In ways that I've never seen  
My side of the grass is green" he smiled and sang louder 

"Come on hazel sing" he said pushing my shoulder lightly.   
I shook my head no increasingly fast.   
"Come on !" He said "just sing!"   
"No no luke I can't" I said   
"Not everyone has a good voice it's fine just sing!" He said   
"No Luke I don't know the words"no said feeling like an idiot, why was I here if I didn't know the words to the song I'm just looking like an embarrassment. 

"Make up your own!" He said and pulled me   
I laughed as he spun me around sinking the melody and words.

"Oh it's the easiest thing to do" he sang as he turned me around so that my back was against his chest holding my waist and singing into my ear 

"Do do do do do do  
Do do do do do do  
Do do do do do do" he sang as he twirled me in and out of the hug like move.

Luke whispered in my ear while holding my waist tightly. "Hazel would you deny me if I kissed you?" 

My stomach flipped inside out. 

I didnt say anything, he turned me around and starred deeply into my eyes. He pulled me closer to his chest and held me tight at the waist. 

He removed his hands from my waist and guided them to cup my face. I was feeling incredibly impatient as I wanted him to kiss me already. He smiled before he closed his eyes and drew closer to my face. I closed my eyes and drew closer to his face. 

All of sudden I was pushed off of Luke's grip. I fell to the grass and noticed harry. His eyes were piercing directly at luke with anger. 

"Get the fuck away from her!" He said pushing luke in the chest.   
Luke pushed Harry back. I got up and ran toward the middle of them.  
"Stop !stop!stop!stop!"I yelled but was pushed off as Harry and Luke exchanged brutal words to each other. 

A crowd circled around Harry and Luke. Screaming "fight! Fight!"   
The chants from the crowd only encouraged their fury more and fists were flown. 

"Please stop!" I pleaded trying to push them off each other. But I pushed off by Harry.

I couldn't watch the fight, so I ran.


	15. CH 15 cottage

I ran towards the tent, too overwhelmed by the situation that's happening. 

After running which seemed like hours I finally reached it and entered the tent Ellie and I shared. 

I zipped it up behind and fell to the grounds sleep bag. 

I breathed in deeply trying to relax. I grew to become disappointed, as the moment Luke and I shared was perfect, almost like in a movie. 

"Hazel!" I heard Ellie's voice yell through the tent.   
As she unzip the tent "thank goodness your here, come on get out, were leaving" she said grabbing her things and piling them up in her small suitcase.

"Going where?" I said severely confused.  
"Just pack your things, come on." She said. "Quickly"  
And I did. As I finished she ran us out and towards the road that we entered in.  
"Fucking dickhead" she said in a strong Irish accent. "Who in bloody hell does he think he is?!" She said

"Here comes ashton come on get in"she said as a black range rover pulled up to the side of the curb.

As we hopped in the car, ashton greeted us, and pecked Ellie as she sat in the front seat. 

I grew disappointed as I hoped Luke would be in the car as well. 

"Hazel? Can you believe him?!" Ashton said  
"Harry was bloody insane who does that?" Ellie said  
"Their encounter was long overdue, but come on? Why here! Fucking ruined it all for us" ashton said  
"Where's luke?" I said   
"He'll meet us up at the hotel" Ashton said.  
"Hotel?" I said.   
"Yeah, I'm getting us four two rooms, plus I don't think you wanna deal with Harry at the moment do you?" Ashton said  
"Yeah" I said nodding and starring out the window. 

Though Harry was the one who started the initial fighting I couldn't help but feel guilty that I caused the fight. 

"Is luke hurt bad?" I said, more concerned about luke than harry, Harry is older than me and luke, I just don't want luke to be beaten up by Harry. 

"Luke?" Ashton said chuckling.  
"Luke hurt!" Ellie said "haha your funny hazel!".

"Luke isn't hurt, don't worry, but look Ellie poor hazel worried about luke" he said  
"Awh so cute! They'd make the cutest babies" Ellie replied.

I slammed the palm of hands into my face, feeling them redden with embarrassment as ashton and Ellie teased me. 

We pulled up near a Hotel, which didnt look to expensive nor creepy and cheap, but rather in the middle. 

Ashton parked and stepped out to head to the lobby to purchase two rooms and check availability, while Ellie and I waited in the car. 

"Does harry know were gone?" I said  
"Yeah, fucking dick never speaking to him again, but yeah I made it clear to him" she replied. 

"What happened after I left?" I asked  
"Punches were thrown, but the security came in and pulled harry and Luke off each other, and spoke to each of em separately " she said  
"Security?!" I said shocked it got that bad  
"Yeah but they warned them, at the festival there are always fights and well everyone's given a warning unless things get really bad"   
"So it wasnt that bad?" I said thanking god, the police weren't involved  
"Oh nooo noo it was most definitely bad, but they were pulled off each other before it could have gotten worse" she said 

Ashton opened the door and said "got the keys lets go"   
And we walked toward the inside of the hotel, toward the second floor and into the rooms which were side by side. 

" now until luke gets here, which won't be too long, well stay in your room" ashton said unlocking the door to the left.

We walked in and I noticed a single bed, tv, and couch. With a small bathroom to the side.

"One bed?" I said  
"We're sharing" ellie said  
"We'll technically, you and I are love" ashton said squeezing her cheek as she blushed   
"And you and luke are sharing"bye said winking towards me.

I felt uncomfortable with the thought of that. As I heard a door open but was too busy looking at the bed

"No I can't" I said  
"Why?" Luke said as he entered   
I didnt know what to say. Luke walked up to me and gave a weak smile, but turned to hug Ellie and guy hug ashton. 

"Well since that didnt long for luke to get here well be gone" ashton and Ellie said walking out the door. 

I say on the bed. Feeling completely uncomfortable. 

"I'm sorry" I said  
"For what" he replied walking towards the bathroom and entering it but leaving the door open. 

"For you getting Hurt the fight" I said hearing water turn on. 

He walked out the bathroom with a wet face wiping it with a towel. 

"Hazel" he said smiling and walkin back into the bathroom.

He came out and walked towards me sitting next to me on the bed.

"I'm really sorry " I said noticing the purple bruise on his cheek, it was small but noticeable. 

"Hazel, it's fine" he said " but now I'm quite mad with you" 

"For ?" I said confused  
"You don't want to share a bed with me" he said tapping the bed   
"No it's just that" I tried to reply but he interupted   
" it's fine, hazel I'm just joking with you, I'll sleep on the couch" he said. 

I starred at the couch that was in the hotel suite, it looked small, uncomfortable and most definitely the worst way to sleep after getting his a fight. 

"No no ill sleep there you sleep on the bed" I said

"Of course not, I'm sleeping on the couch I don't want you to be any more uncomfortable" he said

"Luke" I said trying to convince him to sleep on the bed but he wouldn't listen 

Instead he walked towards the bathroom and said "hazel I'm taking a shower" 

I nodded as he closed the door.   
I took my small suitcase and changed into the one pajama I brought with me. 

I laid on the bed and turned the television on. All there was on was the news and adult cartoons, because it was around 2:30 in the morning.   
I yawned as I continued watching. 

After a few moments, luke came out.

"Hazel, I sleep in my boxers" he said  
Pulling his shirt up and off himself 

I noticed the finely outlined torso and I gulped.   
He threw the shirt on the ground and went to unbuckle his jeans. 

I stared down at my hands so that I wouldn't be looking at him like a creep.

"I'll just need one of these"he said pulling one of the two blankets that were on the bed.  
I nodded still not looking at him. 

 

He laid on the couch and tried positioning himself where he was comfortable. 

 

We watched the television for about thirty minutes when I noticed luke had fallen asleep. 

His blanket was somehow half on an shall off him, with his leg off the couch clearly uncomfortable. 

I felt bad. So I got up and walked towards luke.   
"Luke" I said as I shook him.  
"Mhmm" he said  
"Luke come on please on the bed" I said  
"Hazel no" Luke replied   
"Luke it's too big for me, go sleep your tired I'm not" I Said  
"Nope " luke replied   
"Please" I said  
"Only if we sleep together" he said peering up at me.


	16. Ch 16 cottage

"Luke, Id just feel uncomfortable" I replied   
"We'll then goodnight hazelnut" he said as he repositioned himself on the couch.   
I walked over to the bed and laid down. After about five minutes I felt bad, he'd just gotten into a fight, and now he has to sleep on that couch. 

"Luke" I said  
"Yeah" he replied not moving from his position.  
"Fine, I'll sleep up here with you" I replied and he got up, his body was god like.

As he walked over to the other side of the bed I noticed the finely outlined torso, his long legs and buffed arms. His chest was most intriguing, he was so built and defined. But you wouldn't have thought of him being fit through the clothes he wore. 

He hoped into the side of the way and left a decent amount of space between us. I was laid on my back staring at the television, while luke was laid to his side facing the wall. 

After about five minutes he shuffled over and turned toward me and got increasingly closer. 

"Hazel?" He said   
"Yeah?" I replied now looking at him and not the television.  
"Still uncomfortable?" He questioned   
"No" I said looking back at the television. 

When I sleept over at Harry's, it was different one I was drunk and two due to the fact that I was drunk I wasn't concerned with the uncomfortable and awkward feeling id get with sleeping with a boy. I didnt have sex with Harry, I never had sex with anyone. I had never done anything before sexually and I had never been intimate with a boy. 

Sharing the room with luke, made me uncomfortable, due to the reason that I didn't want to kick him in my sleep or snore or look ugly. I didnt want luke to see me subconscious. 

Due to my lack of a teenage life I realized maybe this was what girls were talking about in high school, the secret sleepovers with boyfriends getting drunk with randoms hooking up. I never experienced any of that.   
Well countering that I did have a drunk sleepover with Harry. But I only felt like a slut doing that, though I didn't do anything intimate. 

"Hazel? You tired?" Luke asked  
"No" I replied "you?" 

"Nah, you broke my sleep when you woke me" he replied   
"I'm sorry" I replied "I didnt mean to"  
"Your such a horrible person hazel gosh how could you do that" he teased slapping the blanket that covered my thigh lightly.  
I laughed at his comment.  
He sat up from his laying position and placed the pillow against the headboard and laid his back against the headboard having his left hand lay on top of his head.   
"You like the news ?" He asked  
"There's nothing else on" I replied  
"Hazel" he asked  
"Yeah?" I replied  
"How come you always reply with short answers" he asked  
"I just I don't know" I replied though I did  
"I want you to tell me hazel" he said placing his pillow back down from the head-broad to flat surface of the mattress and laid down on his back parallel to my body.   
I sat quietly. I didnt like thinking about my past let alone talking about it. 

"Hazel" he said   
"Luke I don't like talking about my past" I said  
"It's not good to keep things inside" he said turning his body to his side looking at me.  
"Hazel" he said

"My past is complicated luke" I said taking a deep breath in.

He moved closer to my body pullin at my waist to turn and face him, in which I did.

"Just talk" he said smiling   
I breathed in.  
"Trust me it's so much easier when you let things out" he said

I closed my eyes to try and stop verge of tears that were coming just thinking about my past.

"Hazel trust me" he said  
"I just don't trust" I replied   
"Why" he asked  
"It's just Luke. I don't know" I said  
"Just tell me" he replied  
"Why does it even matter?" I said thinking why would anyone care. No one actually cares about what people have been through.

"Because hazel" he said after a few seconds of silence "I want to know you" 

I didnt say anything just closed my eyes and breathed in heavily.

"I want to know you hazel" he said  
"Luke it's just my life isn't the easiest thing to describe" I said  
"So start anywhere, little by little I want to know you" he said taking my hand, holding it.

"Luke" I said  
"Come on hazel, just tell me" he said  
"Tell you what" I said "where do you want me to start"   
"Okay, lets start with elementary school" he said "a memory or two from there"  
I thought. I had the worst experience in elementary school. I stayed quite.   
"Hazel" he said lifting his hand to cup my face. "Come on anything" 

"I don't have good memories luke, especially elementary school that's the starting point" I said thinking about it.

He just stared at me. It felt so sincere and from the heart like he actually cares.

"I remember second grade, used to laugh at me for always tying my hair in a pong tail. I was little, I don't know what that meant to her. Honestly. My mom used to do my hair every morning. Brushing every strand making the pony tail clean and perfect. But the second Id get to school she pull on it, or say something like 'dork' and It used to bother me, as I looked at the other girls who had bows and braids or headbands." I said  
I slowly breathed in heavily again trying to stop verge of the tears that were boiling up inside me.  
"And that same girl would continue to bother me the entire time. My elementary school was weird it was a middle school and elementary school combined. I don't know if you have that here"   
"Well we have Something a bit different but I've seen movies so I guess I know of understand" he said  
"All through third and fourth grade she and her team of girls would nick pick at me" I said "and I remember fifth grade when I got a note after recess" I said and closed my eyes thinking about that day.   
"And" I couldn't stop the stutter in my voice.   
Luke took my hand and rubbed circles on the back of it, slowly relaxing me and comforting me.  
"The note said I'm going to beat you up ugly and her name i remember being scared shitless. Especially in fifth grade. I didnt have friends two friends but it wasnt anything close just playground buddies. But I was scared of the girl and her team of girls. And so I remember when school was over I had to walk home I waited until I was last to leave so that I wouldn't run into her. But as I walked home I noticed them on the same sidewalk a few meters away. They came up to me pushing and shoving. It's just luke i don't know, I don't wanna talk about this" I said thinking about the horrible day that was, it was the start of all the negativity that would come to me later in life. I just hated that day. 

"No one actually thinks stuff like this happens." I said "I mean to my parents they taught everything is perfect in school, I mean you can't really blame them because I mean elementary school, why would some one be mean to you, you don't even know anything your too young to comprehend" I said trying not to sound pathetic in front of Luke.

"Hazel." He said wiping a tear from my face.   
"No it's fine, that was only the beginning. But luke I don't really wanna talk about this" I said   
"Tell me about your family then" he said showing a weak smile.

Family. That's not a great topic either.

I sighed.  
"Okay how about your favorite place" he said  
"Scandinavia" I said it so quickly because I loved the place with a passion  
"Scandinavia? Haha you've got to be joking" Luke said   
I shook my head no.   
"It's the most beautiful place in the world" I replied  
"Why? It's cold and rainy not much to see" he said   
"You'll think I'm weird" I said  
"Nope tell me now" luke said  
"Well, in school I was always obsessed with Vikings, I just loved learning about them, but the problem is that there was never enough, in class we'd send a day or two on that topic but go on ages about Columbus and the others but I wasn't interested in them" I said  
Luke laughed "they weren't cute enough huh?" He said teasing me  
"Nope most definitely not, but then this show on the history channel aired called Vikings and I just fell in love, with the culture the landscape everything" I said "what about you?" 

"Eh I don't really have one" he said shrugging.  
"Not one place?" I asked  
"Not really never felt like an attachment or anything like that" 

I nodded at his response.

"Would you like to go somewhere?" I asked  
"Yeah, but I don't really know where or why. I just feel like there needs to be a reason to go somewhere otherwise it's pointless" 

"Yeah, but what if you find a reason well over there" I asked  
"I'll keep that in mind" he replied  
And I smiled.   
"You have beautiful eyes hazel" he said  
"They're just green" I said  
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" he said  
"Cheesy line there luke" I said teasing him.  
"Well well hazelnut a girl would normally melt with a comment like that, while you choose to tease me about it tsk tsk " he said pulling in closer to me.  
"So I'm not normal?" I asked  
"Nope" he said putting an arm on each side of my body and closing into me.  
"But I like that" he said  
"But luke I kind of an, physically mentally all girls are the same that way" I said   
"Oh shut up hazel I'm trying to be romantic, it's kind of hard to reenact the midnight festival almost kiss that was brutally interrupted" he said putting his arms under my body and around my waist.

"But now I'm trying to make it romantic and kiss you but you won't stop talking" he said  
"Sorry" I said   
"Hazel" luke started laughing in the crook of my neck   
"Hazelnut would you let me kiss you" he said staring at my lips than eyes.

"No buttercup "I. Said laughing   
"Too bad" he said and reached in to kiss me.  
I moved my head just as he was going to kiss me. 

I got on top him straddling his lap slapping his face and tickling him.  
He started laughing. "Hazel" and laughed again.

"What's wrong luke too strong for ya" I said teasing him  
He laughed again and flipped me back onto the mattress where he was on top of me.  
"I don't know about that" he said and began tickling me  
I laughed and squirmed underneath him.  
"Okay okay please hahaha luke haha stop please" I pleaded and pleaded and he stop eventually.  
He pushed in closer to me spreading my legs and putting them another his waist.  
I put my arms around his neck.  
He pulled in closer to the crook of my neck and began kissing lightly, brushing off strands of hair with his nose. I giggled at his touch.

"Luke one question" I said wanting to bother him even more.  
"Ask away hazel" he said still kissing my neck lightly.  
"What's your favorite class in school " I said laughing   
"Really hazel? Haha maths" he said  
"You mean math" I responded  
"No maths" he said kissing my jaw line  
"Luke it's math" I said moving my hands to his chest  
"Hazel it's maths in Ireland" he said kissing my cheek and staring at me.  
"That's retarded!" I said laughing "who says maths?!" 

"Hazel my favorite subject in school was maths" he said pinching my nose  
"Okay Weirdo, first off who likes math, worst subject ever honestly and two maths? Doesn't it sound weird saying it like that?" I said flicking his nose side to side with my finger.  
"We'll hazel one math is an easy subject for people like me, I mean come on look at me and two maths is the correct way to call it" he said jokingly   
"Your so weird" I said laughing at his comment  
"What's your favorite subject ugly?" He said teasingly and beginning to bit the lob of my ear.  
"English" I said "such an amazing subject what kind of weirdo prefers math instead of English!"   
"Oh shut up hazel" he said laughing into my ear  
"Oh I'm sorry I meant maths" I said putting an emphasis on the s in maths.  
He stared at me "shut up hazel" he said.  
"Make me" I said teasing him  
"Oh yeah " he said and glued his lips to mind. I guess he took that as a challenge. The peck was long and soft. I felt him smile for a second or two.  
He pulled off and smiled at me.  
"You talk too much hazel" he said  
"You talk too much hazel" I said mocking him

He laughed and said "you love hearing yourself talk don't ya"   
I began to think I don't usually talk in high school I was antisocial, but with Luke I loved talking.  
I shrugged my shoulders "No you just say stuff that's weird" I said

He rolled over and stretched his arm around my pillow.  
"Lets watch a movie" he said   
"Okay" I said   
"Horror?" He asked  
I nodded and we ordered a movie on the hotel tv menu.  
I got up to turn off the lights in the room, and walked back over to my side of the bed. Lukes hand was no longer on my pillow.I sat down and the movie began. 

We were about ten minutes into the movie both deeply invested into what was happening. There was about five inches of space in between us. 

A suspenseful scene came up and I knew Something was about to pop up. As the image jumped and frightened me I screamed and pulled my covers up to my face.   
"Are you scared " luke asked touching my thigh over the blanket  
I shook my head no, but that was a lie  
"Just a little?" He said   
"Maybe just a little" I said   
"come here" he said pulling me under his arm.  
He squeezed me tightly and nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck.  
He pulled away from my neck I placed my head to his chest and we resumed watching the movie.

Every now and then he'd rub my shoulder. When the frightening scenes came up id find my face in his chest and he would just giggle at me saying "it's just a movie hazel".

But I slowly drifted off into slumber on his soft warm chest, not being able to finish the movie.


	17. CH 17 Cottage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used quotes from "The Fault in our stars" by John green, the man is a legend and if you havent read the book you most definitely should.

I felt a ray of sunshine hit my face, when i peaked my eyes open slightly to see light coming from the hotels window. I slowly sat up and noticed Luke was asleep, like an angel laid down right beside me with hand around my waist. I glanced over to the alarm clock on the night stand that the hotel provided it said 9:37 a.m.

I rubbed my eyes and felt my forehead was a bit warm, but I disregarded it. I got up from bed to wash up and get dressed. As I approached the sink I turned on the water to wash my face, as the warm water hit my hands, i looked at the scar that was imprinted on my palm. I wiggled my fingers really staring down at the scar. It was in the center of my palm about an inch long and lighter than my skin color. I snapped out of my sudden trance and began washing my face and brushing my teeth. When I was finished I felt my head, a sudden migraine appeared and diapered my vision for a second.

I changed into my clothes and hopped out of the bathroom. As I walked out I noticed Luke was still asleep. I didn't want to wake him, but I was hungry and I knew the hotel provided free complimentary breakfast. As I stepped out of the suite I knocked on Ellies and Ashtons suite door, Ellie answered.

"You're awake!" She said pulling the door open and inviting me in.

"Good morning" I Said to her.

"Ashtons getting ready in the bathroom we were just about to head down for breakfast"

"Yeah same, I stopped by to see if you were awake, in which you are" I said laughing

"Where's Luke?" She questioned

"He's still asleep I didn't want to wake him" I Said

"No no you gotta wake him love, breakfast only lasts till 11, and we have to be out of the room by noon"

I nodded, we decided to meet down in the hotel lobby where breakfast was being served, and I gave Ellie my bag with things in it so that she could put it in the trunk of Ashtons car before breakfast.

I entered the suite Luke and I shared. He was still asleep. I walked over to him, he slept so silently. I softly called his name, he slowly budged. I said his name a bit louder, but no movement. I put my hand on his shoulder where I slowly shook him "Luke, wake up", He slowly opened and closed his eyes.

"Hazel?" He said with his eyes still closed laying in bed.

"Yeah?" I responsed

"What time is it?" He asked "Ugh, my back hurts" He said and sat up rolling his shoulders.

"Umm, its 10:03 now but we have to hurry to eat breakfast Ellie and Ashton are waiting for us" I said

He smiled "Okay" as he slowly moved out of the blanket I shuffled out his way. He stood in front of me, "Mhm, you smile nice" He said and walked over to the bathroom in his boxers. I watched his glorified body, so toned so defined. He was a sight worth seeing.

Entering in the breakfast area, we took our seats. Ellie and I went to get some cereal and eggs while ashton and Luke stayed at the table to reserve our spot and watch our things. 

"Soooooooo" Ellie said with wide eyes as she placed food items onto her plate.  
"What?" I said smiling knowing what shes gonna ask  
"You know what! Spill!!" She said eagerly  
I smiled.  
"You like him, hazel has a crush on luke" she said in a melody like tone  
"Shhh" I said "it's too early to say anything" I replied but I knew I was crushing on Luke. Especially last night it was perfect.  
"Did you ?"Ellie said with wide eyes  
"Did I what?" I responded not knowing what she was talking about now.  
"Get intimate" she said  
"Oh! No no, just kind of cuddled, but no nothing sexual" I said  
"Too busy gossiping, aren't ya two" ashton said now standing next to us  
"Sorry we got carried away" I said and walked back to the table  
Ellie and ashton were still getting food but whispering in each others ears and when ashton pulled away from telling her she shook her head no rather quickly which I found odd.

"Anything good over there" luke asked  
"Yeah there's a lot to choose from" I said and pulled the chair out.  
"Alright now that your back I'm gonna go get myself something to eat" he said as he stood from his chair  
I nodded and watched him walk over to ashton and Ellie. Ashton whispered in Luke's ear causing his facial expression to change to angry.   
"No" Luke said to ashton rather loud that everyone in the room heard, I became suspicious.

All three came back and we ate silently. It was rather awkward situation. I finished before them, and stood to throw away the paper plate with excess food items I couldn't finish.

When I came back everyone was inserted in the information being broadcasted on the tv.There was a plasma hung on the wall of the room displaying the news.   
"The Dublin festival in the first time in 13 years has been canceled due to severe weather, though weather like this is not uncommon, visitors are causing havoc, due to the festival still having two more days and residents are not to fond of this years festival, more fights have been reported in one night of the festival and violations are said to be strict for next years festival" 

"What!" Ellie said "no way! This is so stupid"  
"I guess we got to head back home" ashton said and Luke nodded being very silent the entire time.

After breakfast we all got into the car, Ashton driving, Ellie in the passenger seat beside him and Luke and I in the back. The sky was pitch black, it got increasingly darker as we ate breakfast as they announced on the plasma in the breakfast nook that a storm was arriving. We drove past the festival, and saw people were evacuating the area. Ashton and Ellie talked on and on about some thing I didn't understand. 

But luke didn't say anything to me. He was sat behind ashton and stared out the window. 

It began to bother me as it was twenty minutes now into the drive and Luke hasn't looked at me, nor said a word. 

Ashton's phone rang and ellie was reading SMS off his phone.   
She gave him the same look that she displayed at breakfast.   
"Don't respond just put it away" ashton said

I put my earphones in, and stared out my window, gazing at the meadows which were being soaked in water drops. 

The rain had started light, with strong thunder but not rough rain drops, it seemed when we exited Dublin and into another village the rain poured down increasingly rough. 

In the distant field I noticed small homes cottage like, with children rushing in not to get wet. And their parents standing by the door pulling the rain coats off or scolding them. 

I began thinking about my family. It isn't easy. For them, and especially me, I was my dads favorite, I knew it deep down, though I caused much disappoints and arguments I knew my dad treasured me separately compared to my other sisters. I took a deep breath in, getting lost in my thoughts. My dad. I can just imagine the pain he is going through. Though I am legally an adult now, I pondered off into the world fragile, young and delicate in my fathers eyes. My father would never accept this behavior from me. 

My father was a strict parent, Or is, and always will be. With his persona came complications much people didn't understand. Especially at school. My father said girls shouldn't go out and party and do nonsense things at any age, that they should be respectable and modest. My father didn't allow me to go to the schools football games or watch a movie with my friends. If I wanted to watch a movie it would have to be with my sisters and mother. And that is only some of the various restrictions he placed on me, and my sisters. He wanted us to grow up with honor and respect, but what my father didn't understand is that the world no longer works in that way anymore. No one really cares about honor. My father grew up in a culturally strict environment where everything was double standard for men and women. My mother did too. 

My mother wasnt strict as much as my father. She knew from time to time what it felt like when you couldn't hang out with your friends or go on a date with a guy. But my mother wasnt a free lancer either, she was strict, though she knew as a girl there would be crushes but dating was not an thought nor option. 

My parents both thought dating is a big red x for my age. Until that is I turned 18, and which I would bring home a guy who was potential marriage material, otherwise they said there's no reason to being him home if he's not serious. 

I saw lighting crack in the distant sky, and I felt my heart crack. This was hard for me, adapting to a situation I wasn't exposed to before. My parents wouldn't allow this behavior. And though I found nothing wrong with it, my parents would have been outraged.

My parents, like any other parent wanted me to focus primarily on school. School school school. And after school my parents said starting a family and marriage. There was nothing wrong with that, I think most people want that. Even I wanted that. But I wanted to live life before I settled down. And my parents didn't understand that. 

They grew up where children were your life you did everything you can/could for them, putting yourself second. Family was important in the culture, being modest kind respectable. It's everything I wanted at one point. 

When I was little, my father told me stories of brave men saving their family and country, being honored and respected. I was so starstruck by these stories, they were fairy tales to me. How our whole country knew stories of these brave people. My mother taught me cooking at an early age where I just played around with the excess dough, but I knew, where as a female my place was. It didn't bother me, but it soon would. I wasn't so bothered with it, I actually liked it, but it was only that I didn't know. I had no knowledge of other societies how women are treated differently. 

I didnt want my place to be a kitchen, to have double standards, I didn't want to be silenced by my husband if I raised my voice. I wanted to have a voice.

And though I dropped hints to my parents at times, when commercials on tv would show exotic places, Id always say "oh! I wanna go there!" They were subtle hints but I wanted them to subconscious know I was going. 

And it may seem weird. Up and going. But I wanted a life away from that culture. And it isn't running away I flat out told them. I watched as my fathers eyes change, as he thought I was going to talk about my college acceptance no where near something like this.

The disappoint that grew on his face burns my heart every-time I think about it. 

My fathers last words to me were "you stabbed a knife deep into my heart. You, of all, you did".

I felt a tear rush down my face. Those words haunt me every night, every time I see a child and father, everywhere. 

My father didnt wish me a safe trip, he didnt watch me step out the house and into the cab toward the airport. My father. 

I felt burning in my stomach and I stopped thinking. This is just too much Hazel. I slowly breathed in and out. With my eyes closed and my head laying against the window. 

Just stop Hazel.

With my eyes closed I envisioned that life I wanted. The life I set out to find. And I will do all the things I want.

I came to Ireland, to become a writer. Though I'm not good at it, I want to have written a novel.

It's always been a dream of mine. 

*flashback

''...and as the tides rushed in, he came back to her.'' I wrote down on paper as I whispered to myself. 

I writing my heart out. I need to win this award. 

My train of thought stopped as I noticed her eyes per icing through me. Just not today, please god, not today. 

To my misfortune, the teacher stepped out the classroom to consulate with a student on their work. 

She approached me, with her two sidekicks. 

"What the fuck are you writing" she said as she pinched my hand took my paper.

She began reading out loud to the class "As Blaze cried out for Henry blah blah stupid what is this shit!" She said as she tore my pages up of the journal. 

My heart was breaking and aching. My hard work shredded to pieces. I stayed quite, I knew for being in the same classes with her every year, that staying quite will let her say what she has to say and walk off.

*end of flashback. 

My heart began aching, I need to prove a point. My coming to Ireland, was stepping stone into achievement. I need to prove myself .

I thought about that award. Man, I wanted that so bad. I didnt win, I didn't enter, all because I let some one control me. Her bullying caused my insecurities, and flooded me with doubt. 

And at home, I choose not to respond back. Even if I was right, it was wrong in my parents eyes. 

I was so pathetic. 

I let others control my feelings, my ideas my thoughts. I let others control me.

That through them controlling me, I wasn't fully developing or discovering the person I am. All because I let their ideas, their thoughts there way of living control mine.

I glanced over at Luke. He had his hoodie cap on, and laid his arm on the window where he positioned his head leaning on the window of the car. 

I felt awkward as Ashton and Ellie were fully engaging in a conversation Luke and I seemed to be so distant, the irony being we are sitting Next to each other maybe half a foot of space between us.

I felt weird, like I couldn't explain it. Luke was acting like we didnt even know each other. I started to think maybe it had to do with the breakfast thing, maybe ashton told him something.

"Hazel" Ellie asked  
"Yeah " I responded   
"Have you read the fault in our stars?" She questioned   
"No I'm but I bought the book just never had time to read it" I said  
"OMG no way you have to read it you have to ! Are you busy right now?!" Ellie asked  
"Well um no" I chuckled "just staring out a window not much not really occupied" I said and Ashton laughed  
"Here! Start reading now! Like immediately" she said handing me the book out of her purse   
"You carry a book with you" I asked   
"Yeah I thought if I got bored on the road trip you know" she said   
"Is it that good" I asked  
"It's amazing" Luke said   
I looked over to him, he wasnt looking at me but rather out the window. 

I gulped as I felt some weird tension between us. So I opened the book and began reading. 

I read in my head.

~"May I see you again?" he asked. There was an endearing nervousness in his voice. 

I smiled. "Sure."

"Tomorrow?" he asked.

"Patience, grasshopper," I counseled. "You don't want to seem overeager. 

"Right, that's why I said tomorrow," he said. "I want to see you again tonight. But I'm willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow." I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious," he said. 

"You don't even know me," I said. I grabbed the book from the center console. "How about I call you when I finish this?"

"But you don't even have my phone number," he said.

"I strongly suspect you wrote it in this book." 

He broke out into that goofy smile. "And you say we don't know each other." ~

I was deep into the book, falling in love with every page. The main characters name was hazel, and it made me feel good knowing there's a character with my name. The entire book so far has pulled me into a vortex I couldn't stop reading, there was humor and love, perfection written in words. 

I kept reading on until Ashton asked me something.  
"Huh? What sorry I didn't hear you" I said "haha you like it so far?" He asked  
"I love it" I said "you read pretty fast, you Literally stormed through the pages" he said  
"Yeah I read fast, but this book is just amazing" I said galantine down at it  
"The ending will rip you to shreds" luke said  
I looked over to him, and he was finally looking back at me.  
"Why, what happens" I said to eager now  
"Trust me, I'll ruin it for you if I tell you" he said "come here" he said 

I moved I see to him, touching shoulders, he took the book out of my hand and bent the page I was currently on.

"Here let me, show you my favorite part " he said and flipped through the pages. 

He was somewhere in the beginning of the book when he read out loud 

~"Augustus, perhaps you'd like to share your fears with the group."  
"My fears?"  
"Yes."  
"I fear oblivion," he said without a moment's pause. "I fear it like the proverbial blind man who's afraid of the dark."  
"Too soon," Isaac said, cracking a smile.  
"Was that insensitive?" Augustus asked. "I can be pretty blind to other people's feelings." ~  
Luke stopped reading out loud. "That's my favorite part." He said and handed me back the book. He put his hand on top of mine once I was holding the book in my lap.

Luke began staring into my eyes, shining through a smile so bright.   
Ashton interrupted us "the metaphor thing Mate that was good I liked that" he said

Ellie and him began talking as she changed the subject. 

Luke began to pull his hand off mine, and I grew a bit disappointed. But I didn't realize he was putting his arm around me.

He snaked his arm around me, which caused butterflies to explode in my stomach.   
"Just you know maybe but more comfortable position to read in" he said smiling at me.

I nodded "thanks" I leaned my head on his shoulder, placing my legs up on the seat toward the other door.

"Here" Luke repositioned himself.  
His back was toward the inside of the door and he put his legs up on the seat, I then positioned my back against his chest and we were in a much comfortable position.

I opened the book and began reading where I left off.

After ten minutes Luke whispered in my ear "mhm you smell good"   
I smiled and turned my head slightly to see his face "thank you" 

He leaned his head a bit closer to mine where our noses were touching each other. He moved his nose side to side, we were Eskimo kissing. 

"Awhh! Ash look" Ellie said pointing to us  
I laughed and his my face into the crook of Luke's shoulder.  
"Ellie stop being NOSEY" Luke said  
"OH THE IRONY" she replied and we all laughed.

Things settled down and I began reading again. Luke fell asleep behind me, his arms curled around my waist and head leaning against the seat. 

I saw through the window we were nearing our destination maybe twenty thirty minutes away. 

 

**** I used quotes from the fault in our stars, thanks to the magnificent author John Green I fell in love with the book, just want to give John green his credentials here <3


	18. Ch 18 Cottage

As we slowly entered our town I shuffled off of Luke to be prepared to step out the car when ashton dropped me off. Luke woke.

"Sorry" I said  
"No it's fine, I've slept Long haven't I ?" He asked  
I nodded.  
"Lilac lane right?" Ashton asked  
Luke responded "yeah"  
"I was speaking to hazel but thank you Luke" ashton said laughing. 

I handed the book back to Ellie "you want to finish it love? You can give it back when your done"  
"No no I have it at home but thank you" I said

"Hazel" Luke said "your not doing anything tonight are you?"  
I shook my head no "no I'm not"  
"Good, I'll come over in two three hours " he said grabbing my hand and gently rubbing the top.  
I nodded, and he smiled. His smile only made me melt inside. 

"Here we are" ashton said and I hoped out the car.  
"Thanks guys" I said shining a smile and walking toward my door. 

As I entered, I rushed up stairs to shower and pamper myself, I wanted to look pretty tonight. 

After the pampering I went around the house to tidy up, so that everything was clean. I looked at the time it had only been a hour and half since coming home. I looked around and I was short of snacks and food so I decided to go to the grocery store and pick some few things up real fast.

As I walked toward the nearest grocery store I had about two blocks of walking. I couldn't stop thinking about hanging out with Luke tonight. I began practicing what id say, so I wouldn't look stupid saying something really retarded. But around Luke I suddenly become the biggest idiot and saw the stupidest things that aren't even funny just awkward.

Entering the grocery store I pulled cart and began strolling through lanes. I went to the snacks lane, I pulled a dozen or so chips and crackers popcorn all kinds of goodies. I needed milk I thought for my cereal. So I strolled toward the freezer section. 

Opening the glass door and pulling the milk out someone called my name.

I turned around to see harry. I placed my milk down, and began pushing my cart away from him. 

"Hazel, stop" he said  
But I kept walking I decided to go to the cash register and just avoid him.  
"Really hazel? Are you really going to be like this?" Harry said as he reached near me and pulled my shoulder back to turn me around.  
"Yes. I am" I said sternly. I pulled out my wallet and decided to pay harry back for the festival tickets "here's 70£ is that enough for the ticket?" I said  
Handing him the money.

"Hazel stop I don't want the money" he said  
"No take it" I said pulling his hand and placing it in his hands forcefully.  
"No" he said and pushing it back to me  
"Harry stop being like this and take the money" I replied handing him the money once more .  
"Hazel I don't want the money and I'm not taking the money" he said  
I began to get frustrated so I walked away from him. He pulled my wrist to stop me.

"Hazel just hear me out" he said  
"Look another day, I don't have time right now" I said and began strolling toward an open cash register, harry followed me.  
I was placing my items on the panel for the cashier And she began scanning.  
"Hazel come on don't avoid me" he said  
"I'm not avoiding you I just don't have time" I said 

"34.78£ miss" she said  
I was pulling out money when harry decided to push me away and swiped his credit card on the little machine infront of the cashiers register. 

"No no I'm paying" I said to cashier  
"I'm sorry miss its already been approved, here's the receipt, have a good evening." She said and handed me the receipt.

I pushed the cart frustratingly away from the cashier and pulled the bags out and began walking home.

"Hazel!" Harry said running up to me, "let me drive you home"  
"Hazel" Harry repeated  
I said nothing.  
"Are you seriously gonna do this?!" He said  
"No! Just stop" I said a bit too loud that he backed off taken back by my tone. I didn't care and I began walking home.

As I began reaching my house I noticed a tall male figure standing by my door. The perfect blonde hair up and tall body with wide shoulders.

He noticed me, and ran up towards me.

"So that's where ya went" he said as he grabbed the bags out of my hands.  
"Thank you" I said rubbing my fingers as they hurt from the plastic heavy bags id been carrying for two blocks. 

I ran up to the door to open it so Luke could enter. "Just in the kitchen please" I said and we walked over to the kitchen. 

He placed the items on the kitchen counter. 

"I kind of freaked out a little out there" he said  
"Haha why?" I said pulling the items out the bags.  
"I don't know been standing there for a good ten minutes. At first I thought you might've stabbed your palm again, or something worse i don't know then I began thinking you might've stood me up or something, or accidentally fell asleep, ha a million things went through my head" Luke said  
"Oh no no I just didnt think you were gonna be here for another hour, so I went to get some food" I said 

Luke pulled out a flash drive out his pocket. "What's that for?" I asked confused.  
"Oh I got a movie on here, Have you seen the movie Anonymous?" He asked  
"No I don't think I have why" I responded  
"Tonight, Were watching it together, guess what" he said  
"What ?" I said  
"It's about maths" he said  
"Is it really ?"  
"Haha, no no it's about poetry, and Shakespeare, you'll love it" he said  
"Just because I like English doesn't mean I like poetry or Shakespeare" I said trying to annoy him  
"We'll too bad hazelnut, your gonna like it" he said walking closer to me, I backed up into a kitchen counter.  
"You can't make me like it" I said smiling  
"Yes I can." He said And pushed in closer to me, he held my waist gripping tight, his face was not even inch away from mine.  
I shook my head no.  
"Yes" luke said shaking his head yes.  
I chuckled and shook my head no, we were practically Eskimo kissing.  
I slowly moved my hands from the counter top and placed them on his chest. "No"I said teasing him.  
He looked at me and smiled, his hands moved from my waist to my bum, where we went lower and pulled my thighs in and picked me up. He sat me on the countertop table. Having my legs around his waist and his hands now gripping my waist tightly. 

"Hazel, you can't resist me" he said pulling into a kiss.  
I began laughing. "Yes I can" I said, lying I couldn't resist him, but I wasn't going to be easy.  
"Oh shut up hazel" he said pushing his sweet lips against mine. I pushed him off gently "seems like you can't resist me" I said.

"That's very true" he said kissing my right cheek.  
He moved his right hand off of my waist and up my body, he came to my neck and pushed my hair behind my ear. He began kissing lightly on my neck. He began sucking on my neck and using his teeth to bite down on the skin to leave a mark. 

"Ouch!" I said slightly smacking Luke.  
I felt his breath on my neck as he chuckled into it. 

He started kissing the middle of my neck and worked down toward my collar bone.  
I shuffled a little, sitting up straight on the counter top. Luke pulled me closer to his standing body causing my legs to spread further. He moved his hands down from my waist ever so slowly toward the back of my thighs where he Angled them slightly up, causing my crouch area to be touching his. I wrapped my legs around him with my arms snaked around his neck. He looked up at me. He looked at my eyes and smiled, then glanced down at my lips and bit his lip. I moved my hands toward his cheeks, where I pulled his face into a kiss. Small pecks were exchanged but then he forced his to tongue into a French kiss. We battled our way through dominance but his tongue over threw mine. We began lightly kissing where I bit his lip.

"Mhmmm" Luke hummed.  
I smiled feeling proud for turning him on.  
"That easy to turn you on" I said teasing him, he smiled and replied with "you found my weak spot"  
He lifted me off the countertop, holding the bum as he carried me to the couch in which He sat me down.

He walked over to the television and began setting up the movie.  
"Do you know where the USB port is?" He said  
"I didnt know Tvs had USB ports to be honest" I said  
"Some do, but I'm going to have to turn the television slightly to see if it's behind" he said and I nodded and he proceeded.  
After about five minutes of luke trying to figure out which input and such the movie began.  
I cuddled into Luke's side.  
Two minutes into the movie, "hazel" luke said  
"Yeah?" I replied  
"Do you mind if I turned off the lights" he asked  
"No no it's fine but I'll do it, I'll bring some of the snacks over" I said getting up and walking toward the kitchen.  
Luke stared dead into me, burning holes into my body as I walked away from him and entered the kitchen.  
I was walked back with the snacks and luke turned his vision toward me and stared.  
I felt insecure as I neared the table, was I walking wierd, was my belly sticking out, did I have something on my face?  
He smiled at me as I set the items on the coffee table. I turned and saw luke seated up with his hands out.  
I gave him a confused luke.  
"Come here" he said and pulled me into him, straddling him.  
His arms snaked around my waist, and mine around his neck.  
"You have a beautiful body hazel" he said looking into me.  
I smiled "thank you" I replied  
"Do you like the movie?" He said  
"Luke it's only been like a minute" I said laughing at his dumb comment.  
"Yeah but you know, like you could tell whether you like it or not, I mean that's how I am, like if it doesn't grab my attention that second I won't continue" luke said  
I shrugged my shoulders "it's just you weirdo" I said and slide off of him and into couch.

Luke pressed play on the remote and we watched both of us were seated up straight in a pretty uncomfortable position after about ten minutes. 

"Hazel come here" Luke said patting the seat next to him.  
I shuffled over to him where we laid in the couch Luke behind me holding me against him.

He nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck "luke how am I going to watch the movie if your doing that" I said  
"I want to find your weak spot" he said  
"You'll never find it" I said laughing.  
"Is that a challenge" luke said gripping my waist a bit harder  
"It's not a challenge it's a fact" I said  
He chuckled and said "it's a challenge" 

Luke began kissing my neck once more, he slid his hand that was gripping my waist down toward my crouch he moved slowly. He lightly roamed the top of my thighs and slowly pushed his hands inbetween them. He grazed lightly between my thighs, when he pulled one up and onto his leg. He began to move from my knee up toward my crouch. As he neared my crouch area he began biting my ear lobe causing my back to arch a tad bit. My bum rubbed against his crouch, where I felt him hardened against me.  
"Hazel" Luke moaned nuzzling his nose to the crook of my neck.  
"Hmm?" I said with my eyes closed Luke flipped me under him, his left leg covered both my legs and he draped his left arm over my stomach and right arm under me.  
"You like the movie?" He said chuckling  
"Luke your so dumb" I said and smacked his cheek lightly.  
"Hazel" he said  
"Luke you say my name a lot" I said biting my lip.  
"Cause I like it, it's a rare name" he said.  
I closed my eyes feeling so comfortable and relaxed laying there with Luke.  
Luke pulled the blanket that was placed on the top of the couch. 

"Hazel" luke said once more  
"Luke" I replied fluttering my eyes open and starring back at his lovely face.  
"Do you mind?" He said placing the blanket over us  
"Mind what?" I replied  
"Do you mind me spending the night?" He asked with a blank expression  
I shook my head no, "no I don't mind you can stay the night if you want, just um, just" I said before being interrupted by Luke.  
"Just no funny business?" Luke asked  
I nodded "yeah"  
"Can I steal one more kiss" luke said staring at my lips.  
I nodded, he pulled at my waist leaning on top of me. "Luke" his name slipped out of my mouth as his cane closer to mine and his cock pressed against me through my clothes.  
Luke pressed his lips lightly against mine. Each peck getting longer.  
My hands moved from the sides of my body to his chest, he leaned in closer to me as he pressed his tongue inside my mouth.  
Luke moved his hand toward the back of my thigh and moved it to be placed behind him, he moved his lower body closer into mine. His hand was still holding my thigh but his other hand was holding the cheek of my face.  
He began pushing his lower body into mine as he deepened the kiss. I felt his cock begin to hardened thorough his jeans against my crouch. I gripped his shirt with my hand as I felt a bit of intensity fill me up. Luke began rubbing his hips slowly into me.  
I moved my hands around his neck and our kiss became deeper and longer. After pulling away from each long kiss we breathed heavily. 

Luke began grinding his hips into me. My back began to arch and Luke wrapped his arms under me gripping me tighter underneath him. I began losing breath from the intensity and the long kisses, so I pulled away. 

I was taking fast breaths in covering my face with my hands.  
"Hazel, you alright?" He asked with concern  
"I'm sorry Luke it just kind of became" i said stopping to hitch a breath "just a bit intense"  
"No I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I mean you did say no funny business, I should of stopped" he said  
And I nodded no, "I still let you proceed"  
"Was I a bit controlling?"he said  
"No no it's just" I said shaking my head  
"Just what?" He said with concern  
"It's just" I shook my head no "it'a Embarrassing" I said covering my head with my hands once more  
"What's Embarrassing babe?" He said smiling which I saw through the fingers.  
"It's just I'm not experienced" I said pulling my the couch pillow over my face.  
Luke laughed "that's why I couldn't find your weak spot you haven't found your weak spot aye?" He said pulling the pillow away. "You shouldn't be embarrassed that your inexperienced, you showed be proud of your inexperience" he said  
I squinted my eyes and covered my face with one of my hands.  
"Stop covering your face, hazel" Luke stated pulling my hand from my face and smiling once seeing it. "You know hazel, your a sight for sore eyes" he said  
I blushed that my entire was as red as an apple. Butterflies stormed through my stomach at his compliment. That was until an Epiphany revealed itself I had no makeup on, my hair wasn't done, I hadn't done any pamper because Luke came earlier than I expected.  
I gulped.  
He began outlining my face with his finger. He roamed my cheek, then over to my lips and traced the outline, around my nose, eye brows and then lightly pressed a kiss against my forehead.  
"Hazel? If I'm staying here the night, instead of sleeping on the couch could we sleep in your bed?" He asked.  
I nodded.


	19. Ch 19 cottage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's taking me a long time to write, school is just overloading me with homework. But thank you to everyone who reads Cottage, it means so much to me, I appreciate it greatly.

Luke followed behind me as we walked up the stairs to my bedroom.  
When entering the room Luke glanced around.   
"Not much of a decorator ?" Luke stated  
"Yeah I didn't have any time to decorate" I said pulling the comforter loosely off the bed.   
"Which side ?" I asked  
"Whatever works for you" Luke said   
"Anything really" I said Cushing up the pillows for the both of us.  
"Hazel do you mind if I take a shower quickly? I just always do it before bed, habit as a child" Luke said   
"No no go ahead feel free I'll just go get you a towel real fast" I said exiting out the room to the near by linen closest.   
When I returned to the room with towel in hand, Luke was most completely nude. I gulped as I Analyzed his tone figure everything showing except his 'boy area' which was covered by his boxers. I just stood there noticing his body griping tight to the towel.   
Luke walked over, nearly centimeters away from my face smirking at me.   
He was holding the towel and said "you alright" with the utter most cheekiest smile I had ever seen. 

I nodded and walked past him. "Right there" I pointed directing him to the closed bathroom door in my bedroom.   
He walked in, closing the door behind him but not locking it. 

I ran to my closest to change into some pajamas. Gosh, Luke looked like a god, clothed and unclothed. 

In a hurry I rushed into my pajamas. They were the loosest pair of pajamas someone could own. I then placed my tank on. 

I rushed over to the bed smelling the sheets making sure it smelled nice and not like an old grandmothers house. Walking over so fast I hit my toe on the foot of the bed. I fell to the ground holding my knee up to my chest and screeching silently. "Fuck" I said to myself as I endured the pain. As the pain began to drift off I told myself to act calm, I slept with him before. This is completely normal for a young adult. This is what young adults do. Relax hazel. I was laid cross the floor by the side of the bed. "Your such a klutz hazel" I said to myself. Why couldn't I act normal. Maybe it was the fact that I never experienced this type of teenage behavior, the going out late, festivals with friends, sleepovers with guys. Ugh, I'm so pathetic. 

"Hazel, you alright?" He said standing over me, he had a towel around his lower half exposing the perfectly defined v.   
I nodded as I sat up. He put his hand out and I pulled up. "Thanks" I said.  
"Uh, where do I place this?" He said pulling his towel off. My eyes widened as I thought I'd be exposed to his area but he teased me, as his boxers appeared.   
"Ha, gotcha ya" he said squeezing a side of my cheek.   
"Your so funny" I said slapping his arm away.   
"Where should I put this?" Luke said.  
"Here I'll take it down stairs." I said taking the towel and heading downstairs to place the towel in the laundry room.  
I took two bottled waters from the fridge and headed up stairs.  
Luke was already nested in the bed shirtless, and holding a book in his hands.   
"The crucible?" He asked flipping the book over and reading the back "what happened to the fault in our stars?" 

"Oh that was just on the night stand but I have to finish the fault in our stars first just didn't have any time today" I said 

"Yeah the crucible" he said shaking his head no " I read it in school when we talked about communism and the author and whatever.. Didnt like it" he said placing it back on the nightstand. 

"Yeah same" I said, "but for me it was for the colonies in my APUSH class" I said

"APUSH?" Luke said   
"Oh yeah um Advanced placement United States history" I said shrugging my shoulders and walking over to the other vacant side of the bed.  
"Oh" Luke said as I nestled into the warm bed. 

"Pretty chilly huh?" Luke said  
"I could go turn on the heater if you want, it does get cold up here" I said   
"No no hazelnut" he said pulling me under his arm. "You'll warm me up won't you" he stated.  
I smiled. My head was nested on his chest. His fingers began slowly stroking my exposed shoulder, lightly caressing the soft skin. 

"Luke" I said "yeah hazel?" He replied  
"Are you a religious person?" I asked  
"Eh, don't know, like I believe in something greater that has created this world, but I don't think you need to pray to that figure and stuff like that" he said "it's just I've done things that you know most people did or do which probably makes me a bad person in a religious setting but I don't necessarily believe in being saved and such it's just don't know I celebrate Christmas with my parents and stuff but you know I don't believe in what they believe" 

"Oh" I replied listening to him "yeah hazel, Id like to be religious it be nice to have faith in something you know nothing about" he said and I squinted my eyes at him "yeah you know like they believe in something so much that they are so committed to it, but they don't know if it's really real, they just believe" he said

"Oh, yeah" I said nodding "you don't have to believe in god to be so faithfully in that if you want to believe in something so passionately" I replied

"Yeah of course it's just an example, but I'd like to believe in something like that, I want to know what it feels like" he said

I nodded. Then Luke asked me "are you religiously hazel?"   
I shook my head no. "Why?" He asked  
"Same reason as you, but I just had nothing there" I said.  
"Eh hazelnut well find something, won't we ?" He said as he kissed the top of my head. 

Luke pulled his arm tighter around me, I moved my legs so that they were around one of his, and wrapped my arms around his stomach. 

"What's your favorite song?" He asked  
"I have to many" I said   
"Favorite currently like right now?" He asked  
"Um it's hard Luke to limit to just one I don't know what about you" I said   
"A love like war by all time low" he said  
"Oh I know that song!" I said   
"It's currently my favorite" he said "feels like war war" he sang  
"For the thrill of your touch  
I was shamefully lust" I said "that's my favorite line"   
"You have good taste in music then" he said.  
I playfully slapped his chest. We stayed there in bed in silence for a little bit. It wasn't awkward at all, which is highly unusual for someone like me, being the definition of awkward. But the silence was nice. It was peacefully and relaxing. Luke broke the silence though after maybe about ten minutes. 

"Hazel, what bothers you most about people?" He asked.  
In my head I thought a lot. A lot bothered me about people.   
"I don't like closed minded judgmental ignorant people." I said knowing exactly why and feeling my stomach burn up at the thought of it.  
Luke turned his head from staring at the ceiling and thinking, my position being the same, i then lifted my head up so that I would look to him.   
He stared at me. And his smile began to grow across his face. I don't think I've ever seen a more charming smile. Every time he does that thing where he just stares at me and smiles I always put my head down. I feel so insecure next to someone like him, he is tall, gorgeous, cheeky and smart. Though I knew the smile across his face was partially due to staring at me, I didn't want him to find a flaw in me, so I always move my head down.   
"My parents are closed minded, people I don't know; but know me are judgmental, and my relatives and some 'friends' are ignorant" I said.  
I took a deep breath in. "What bothers you most about people?" I asked  
"I have to many stuff to be honest" he said scratching his neck. "But one thing that truly bothers me is when people use devils advocate, or more so over use it in the most unnecessary situations, and especially when they use it on a topic they know nothing about" he said "I like sarcasm at times it's funny if you understand it, but when people are constantly over using it in the most unnecessary situations annoys me, or when they use to people who don't understand it, and laugh about that shit, it's not funny if the person doesn't understand. But I guess what bothers me most is the over use of sarcasm and devils advocate in the most unnecessary situations. " he said, I looked up to him, curious about what his background was for that answer.

Luke shifted his shoulders into the bed. I shuffled off him thinking I was the reason for him being in a uncomfortable position. He pulled me back into his arms "where you going hazelnut, I just needed to crack my bones" he said nuzzling his head into my hair and his arms squeezing tightly around me. 

"I just thought you know that it was uncomfortable for you" I said.  
He squeezed a little tighter and chuckled "hazel even if I was uncomfortable it wouldn't matter"   
I smiled into his chest. 

We laid in silence once more. We were both laying on our backs but Luke's arm was around my shoulders. 

Luke then turned to me laying on his side transitioning his arm that was under my neck to the side of head and resting his head in his hand as it was used as support.

"Nutmeg" Luke said smiling at me  
"Cheese" I said confused at his random comment by playing along with whatever it is.  
"Grapes" he said  
"Pineapples" I said  
The little war went on for awhile after we battled about random food words for no particular reason. 

"Luke why are we doing this?" I asked when I couldn't think of anything else because it seemed Luke and I defined every food item in the world.   
"Haha, why not hazel" he stated pinching my cheek.  
"Ow! Luke" I said   
"Oh stop exaggerating I know it didn't hurt that bad" he said as he wrapped his arms under me and nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck one of my legs were in-between his.   
"Your a tough pincher" I said and Luke laughed. 

"Hazel are ya tired?" He asked  
"Just a little, thinking bout it now ya kind of"I said   
"Yeah, same" he said   
I yawned and said "goodnight Luke"  
"Goodnight hazel" he replied   
"Um Luke" I said   
"Yeah?" He said in a low husky voice  
"Your gonna sleep like this?" I said patting his back.  
"Yeah, I feel uncomfortable unless you know your not?" He said   
"No no I'm fine it's just I thought it might be a bit uncomfortable for you." I said   
He shook his head no. "Goodnight hazelnut" he said and kissed my shoulder. 

Luke fell asleep pretty quickly, but I was a different story. I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed, this kind of stuff just doesn't happen to me, I don't know how to act I don't even know what Luke and I are.

I began slowly yawning frequently interrupting my thoughts on where Luke and I stood, that I was slowly drifting off to sleep.

I felt rustling when I slowly opened my eyes and saw Luke's half naked figure standing up.

"Luke?" I said with my eyes half open.  
"Go to sleep hazel it's still early." He said and rubbed my cheek. I did as he said and drifted back to sleep.

After many hours of slumber I woke up. I noticed Luke wasn't there. I sat up looking around but he wasn't anywhere and neither were his clothes that were on the floor. I got up and walked over to the bathroom, he wasn't there. I brushed my teeth quickly, splashed my face with water to be fully awake and went downstairs. 

He wasn't there, nor his shoes by the door. I kind of felt a small ache in my heart. I plopped down onto the couch and turned the television to some random channel. 

Maybe I didn't get it, I mean this stuff happens, it's the usual. Right? Girls don't stay until morning guys don't either; it's just how it works these days. Luke stayed the night but I kind of was hoping for a morning. Maybe I'm expecting too much. Thats my problem.

I feel like crap. This is just like the car ride after the night spent at the hotel room. I just don't understand. 

I walked upstairs when I noticed a written paper on floor by the side where Luke had slept.

I picked it up. And began reading. 

"Hazel,   
I didn't want to wake you; so I wrote you this note. You have no idea how long it took me to find a sheet of paper to write on honestly, I had to scrabble through your things to find one. I didn't want to get up and leave without telling you why, but I didn't want to wake you. But I had some errands to run for my job, but I'll see you tomorrow. I was thinking tomorrow around seven be ready.   
Anyways, your a peaceful sleeper, I very much enjoy sleeping with you.   
-Luke   
P.s. don't forget tomorrow at seven"


	20. ch 20

After reading the letter I smiled, I was feeling anxious about tomorrow night. I sat down on the bed and read the paper over and over again. After admiring the note I decided to finish reading "the fault in our stars".

I placed the pillows against the headboard of the bed and pulled the book out of the night stand. I placed the note down next to me on the bed and began reading. 

Every now and then Id glance over to the note subconsciously and smile. 

A little over half way through the book I began feeling sad, especially because of Augustus. About 100 or less pages away from the end, I was already becoming unstable with the book. And by the end my tears were streaming down my face. 

I sat there with the book in my hands, I couldn't close the book just laid it across my chest. I just sat there, dead. I couldn't believe the book ended. I had just experienced emotional trauma in my hands of book. I sat there, thinking. 

Death. Probably the scariest thing possible. I didn't like thinking about it, I don't know anyone who did. Maybe it's because we don't know what happens in the after world that we fear it so much. I began having a flashback of my youngest sister asking me what happens after we die, and I hated that. How do you act in that position, you don't want to lie to them, or tell them something your not really sure is even real. I remember telling her "you go to heaven" and she kept asking questions about it what happens afterwards? will you be there too? And the constant questioning frightened me at the time. 

I didn't know the answer. No one really knows the answer. And I had to tell her something that I didn't even believe. But I remember thinking I wouldn't want to risk scaring her by telling her no one actually knows what happens until you die, but I was her older sister, I was that person she came to for answers to questions. 

I perfectly remember telling my sister to watch tv and stop asking me questions saying I was busy. She obliged. I began to ponder upon questions that were going to leave me at sea, perplexed and doubtful, But her question about death was innocent she didn't intentionally mean to baffle my brain, but with her simple question, I began questioning everything. 

I had the choice, I could of stopped thinking about it, continued on and watched tv with her, but I didn't I remember sitting in my bed, just like I am now, and doubting everything. 

Deja vu. Now I knew I was about to get mind-fucked when the topic of déjà vu came up.   
I remember in my theory of knowledge class reading silently "Einstein's dream" by Alan Lightman.  
Topics were discussed after the small first chapter reading to explore what we thought was happening how we understood the book. 

What really mind blown me, was the concept of an ant. If the ant is placed on a point on the circles line it constantly moves forward. But eventually after moving forward it returns to the same starting position. Where time is the circle which means its constantly repeating itself exactly and precisely. Everything that will happen in the future already happened a million times before it and things that are happening now already happened before a million times over and over again, Which brought up an issue with religion, is everything predetermined? Do we have free will? 

I remember sitting there in silence in class. In the background I saw and heard the diversity of students debating with each other, some questioning their beliefs and some not caring too busy doing some other classes homework.

I remember looking down at my lap fiddling with my fingers and thinking.   
Is there life after death?   
Is the universe real?   
Though I was scared at times when I thought so deeply but I liked it. I liked the depth the questions could go into and never have an answer. 

I finally decided to stop thinking.   
I was "straining my innocent mind" is what my mother would say to me whenever I sat frustrated about school or incidents occurring. My mother truly believed "ignorance is bliss" she said "keeps the mind healthy".

I took the folded note Luke wrote and place it in The fault in our stars, and put it inside the night stands shelve. 

I wonder if Luke thought as much as I did. I took my hands and pushed them to my face as I rubbed my eyes. 

I had an entire day to myself. I began walking around the house cleaning up any small messes. When I saw the left over grocery bags from last night that I didn't empty. As I began pulling out the way too many snacks I bought I decided to make myself a home cooked meal. While placing the snacks in the cabinetry I looked around to see what I could make. My cabinetry was empty pretty much, only extremely fattening food laid there. I looked inside the fridge to find dairy products and soda not really anything good.   
The door bell rang and I closed the fridge and walked over. Opening the door I saw Ellie.   
"Gorgeous!" She said "whatchya up to?" She asked and walked in.  
"Nothing much trying to find something to eat you?" I said giving her a hug.   
"Oh I just wanted to see if you wanted to go out ? We could have diner somewhere maybe Al's?" She said   
I nodded since I had no other plans for today.   
"Come on hazel get dressed! Still in your pajamas!" She said smacking my bum in a friendly girl way.   
"Haha okay okay come on help me" I said and we went up stairs to my bedroom. 

I showed her around and she said the same thing Luke said that I wasn't much of a decorator. She went straight to my closest, pulling and looking when she nearly scared me to death. 

"Oh my god! This! Wear this!" She said   
I looked at it, it was a simple tight black dress. "What's so special bout it ?" I asked  
"It'll make your bum look good you have the body for it!" She said and stormed through the rest of my closest   
I walked over to the bathroom to try it on, as I took my shirt off I stared at my tummy. It wasnt flat, that's what bothered me most about my figure, I wasn't skinny. As I took my pajama bottoms off I couldn't help but not be disgusted with the little dark stretch marks I had on the inside of my thigh. 

"Ellie?" I said  
"Yeah ?"she said  
"I don't really like this dress maybe like jeans or something huh?" I said   
Holding the dress in my grip.   
"Why! It's gorgeous!" She said   
"Just Something else just a tshirt and pants any just pull whatever." I said 

She did it and handed me the items when I slowly opened the door.

After putting on the clothes I felt comfortable in Ellie and I headed straight out the house. 

We began walking along the pavement road, decided not to get a cab since the walk would be short when you have someone to chit chatter around with. 

"Sooooo?" She said with wide eyes  
"Ellie?" I said trying to keep myself from blushing I knew what she was talking about.  
"Is it a thing? Exclusive yes no ?" She said   
"I don't know" I said   
"What do you mean ?" Ellie said   
"We aren't dating or something I mean we've never made it like you know like he's never asked" I said feeling a bit down I didn't know what we were "wait no I take that back tomorrow were having a date I think" I said feeling better about myself.   
"Oh! My god! That's perfect! So it's going to be a first date?!" She said more excited than I on the outside, while I was fluttering inside with butterflies at the thought.   
I nodded.   
"But you ashton? How long has that been going on?" I asked to be nice, I didn't want it to be all about me.   
"Eh we're on and off all the time" she said shrugging her shoulders "no one really understands our relationship it's on and off but it works for us" she said like it was nothing  
I nodded, but I didn't really understand how it could work.  
"How long have you guys been together?" I asked  
"We've known each other ages, but we started dating year 10 I think maybe the end of it?" She said   
I didnt understand the UKs school system but instead of asking what that was equivalent to American school system I asked how old she was then and she said about 15.

We finally reached the entering of the town center. We decided to shop through a little until we got hungry. Ellie was a fun person to be around. She loved gossiping and messing around with strangers, she was a nice friend to have. 

After a few shops here and there we were headed to Al's.  
After Al's, Ellie and I continued shopping we bonded and I really started to like her as a person, she was kind enough to introduce me to her friends and we went to coffee and then i went home, for once I wasn't feeling alone. I felt like I actually had friends, which was rare for me, I didn't have many friends, to be honest I barely had friends. 

At home I began opening a few more boxes putting small things around and I realized I didn't have any friends. I didn't have that one picture with my best friend to put on my wall or a group picture of my friends from high school. I knew why though. Kids didn't like me. They didn't want to get to know me, all judged me from what they heard around school, everyday some new rumor about me. I remember walking through the halls all alone, because I didn't have that clique to walk around with, I didn't have that one stop at the lunch table with all my friends.   
Walking through the hallways of my high school all four years I knew when I passed through people talked about me. 

It all started with one incident .One incident that messed up everything. It was the beginning of my freshman year of high school, I had meet new people gotten much attention from the junior boys, I felt good about myself. I painfully remember my freshman year, possible hell of all hells.   
I had friends freshmen year, but they weren't real friends. They were the fake people you saw in movies the girls that applied makeup in class and acted like a dumb ass when a teacher asked them a question, they were the girls who were utterly mean to a shy girl all because they could. Then those were my so called "best friends".  
This one incident happened the summer of freshman year when I got accepted to the magnet program of my high school, keep in mind the so called best friends were dumb and could only dream of something like that. We began drifting apart the only time we were together was during lunch, and that's when I noticed the fake part of my best friends. I remember them talking badly about this one shy girl in my magnet program, they talked so badly of her it was disgusting calling her high school things typical 'oh yeah she's not so innocent I heard she sucks dick shes such a whore' which made no sense because I actually got to know the girl through my classes with her. My so called popular best friends began bothering me when they made the rumors up about the shy girl when she never did anything to them. I told them to stop and that they were wrong about her, that she wasn't like that, and they all went against me for defending the poor girl. 

A verbal fight began with the girls, all going against me, saying ever since I joined the magnet program I became a smart Alec and that I was above everyone else. I stood up from the lunch table and purposely sat by the shy girl, and that's when my reputation sank to the deepest end of the sea. 

My so called best friends began spreading lies about me calling the whore to end all whores, I was the high schools slut, the one the whole soccer team screwed. 

I became a loner since them. I realized people aren't really people. The girls I went through elementary school and middle and junior high with all went against. But it wasnt their fault it was mine. 

I never spoke up before when they teased other girls, I never said anything before I was too pathetic I thought I wouldn't be cool any more that I wouldn't receive the benefits of being the popular girl at school everyone wanted to be. 

The rumors never stopped, literally everyday I came to school with something new to hear as I passed by crowds of people. 

I became a loner, and I was fine with that. I didn't want to be anyone's friend I didn't want to bother having friend because it was too much of an effort, so I just stayed busy with my plan of being successful in school and Ireland. 

I already had problems at home, with my strict parents and a family that wasn't a real family, I had problems in school, the rumors the nasty comments the girls said about me. 

I had no true escape. 

The girls wrote all over social networking sites about me, made fun of me, I was a laughing stock to them. That's why I never had a Facebook or twitter or this and that, there would be no point. 

But I remember one night typing the head of the girls twitter name in and I saw what she wrote about me, and I saw how people retweeted her nasty comments I saw how people related me to everything and lied saying I did this and that for such amount of money. 

I cried my eyes out. I remember perfectly how even though I told myself It was all lies I went back and I read what they said about me, I began feeling what they said about me, I actually felt like I did what they said I did, that I became what they called me, I knew it was bad for me, I knew every time I opened the site sand read what was being said I knew Id cried myself to sleep. 

I flashed back to reality when I began feeling my stomach burn at the thought of what I was put through with high school.   
Eh, but family wasnt much help either. 

I laid down on the couch frustrated with myself. I came to escape this ugly thought, my family and my school life. 

I turned the television on and I slowly eased mind from the negative thoughts. 

After about two and half movies I fell asleep, drifting off into slumber onto the couch, I was too lazy to get up and head to bed. 

 

I was standing in my auditorium of my high school.   
"Slut!" One yelled out from the crowd.  
And so did the rest. I began hearing names here and there as I went across the stage to receive my diploma for graduation.  
"Did you blow the principal for that !" One said  
I began to choke up, feeling heat boil up inside me of embarrassment.   
My parents in the crowd staring up at me, with disappointment written across their face .  
"WHORE!" One boy yelled out   
Then this girl ran up on stage, took the microphone from the principal who was giving each of us the diploma 

"We all know little miss hazel over here, she charges $5 per a blow, sex is free since shes into that, oh but be careful she spreads herpes fast" she said   
And everyone laughed.  
I fell on staged sinking to the floor my parents right there, I was being laughed at and made a mockery out of, my entire school there laughing at me. 

I opened my eyes and breathed heavily. It's just a dream Hazel.   
It felt so real. I laid on the couch noticing it was quite early in the morning. I was still shaking, the whole dream was beyond real, it shook me to the bones. I was a laughing stock. 

I began crying. This just isn't easy for me. Life, everything. My parents knew nothing of my horrific experiences through high school. My then so called best friends knew nothing of what happened at home. I was always alone. I was always holding things in. I came to Ireland to escape these thoughts, not have them ruin my nights.   
I thought Ireland was my escape. 

I breathed in heavily. I went upstairs to lay down in my bed. After a few minutes of regaining myself to peace I drifted off back to slumber.


	21. ch 21

I woke up feeling dizzy and slight headed. I felt my cheeks were wet. I got up from the bed and looked into the mirror, my eyes were red, teary eyed and tired. I had been crying in my sleep. I wasn't surprised it happened to me all the time, especially the beginning of high school but as I grew older crying in my sleep happened less and less. It had probably been months since the last I cried.   
   
   
I walked out the bathroom and plopped back onto the bed. Just don't think about it, but all I did was focus in the negatives. The negativity I've had in life this far has really messed me up. How do you think positively if you have no support?   
   
I felt my forehead burn a little as I thought to deeply about things that only upset me. I looked over to the clock on the wall and saw it was an hour past noon.   
   
My sleep has become irregular. I sleep for too long or too short depending on the day, which is very unhealthy. But I do it regardless. I know I shouldn't do it, but I still do it.   
   
I stared at the ceiling, and took a deep breath in.   
   
I felt my heart clenching. Like my head was spinning. Like the room was getting smaller. Like my mind was going haze.   
   
I was crashing in the waves of My issues; my issues with people. I was drowning in my own thoughts. I was sinking deep. And then I hit the bottom.   
   
Slumber was my painkiller. When I thought to much it was the only thing that could stop it.   
   
My eyes slowly began opening as I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. Sleep helped me. Sleep saved me from my thoughts.  
   
I glanced over at the clock again.   
Thirty minutes until seven. I jumped off my bed as I couldn't believe I slept for so long. I could of overslept and missed the dinner with Luke.   
   
I ran all over my room trying things on and tossing them around trying to find something. I didn't know what to wear Luke wasn't specific in the note.   
   
The door bell rang. I looked at the clock ten minutes till seven, it was early for Luke to show up now.  
   
I ran downstairs pulling my shirt over my head almost trampling myself down the steps. I caught my breath as I stopped by the door.   
   
Relax hazel I told myself and opened the door.   
   
Luke.   
   
He stood out of the door way looking dressed up but not to fancy, tailored dark suit pants which elongated his figure and a dark blue button up with the sleeves rolled up just before his elbow. His hair was magnificently sculpted like he took the time to add gel or something because it was so defined and slicked back sides with the fohawk leaning toward one side more than the other.   
   
He smiled. "Hazel" he said   
I smiled back. "Did I dress down for the occasion?" I asked and then mentally face palmed myself of course I did I was in jeans and tshirt while luke was fancy in a not fancy way.   
"No no I guess I dressed up for the occasion" he said   
"Luke I'm just gonna run up stairs and change" I said and let him in and he sat on the couch. He nodded "ill wait here"   
I rushed upstairs and looked everywhere. I couldn't find anything I liked, anything that fit, I couldn't find anything.   
   
I began panicking I didn't want to make him wait so long. At the top of the closest I saw a dark maroon color and I pulls sit out, and then remembering it was one of my old dresses.   
   
I plopped it on, brushed my hair out quickly and ran downstairs.   
As I neared closer to the final step I tripped over my own foot, and fell to the bottom floor. I landed hitting my palms and knees on the wooden floor.   
Luke rushed over to me. But all I felt as the immense pain rushing through my palms and knees. I tried really hard to keep the tears in.   
   
Luke rubbed my back and sat me up on one of the stairs.   
"Are ya okay? Does it hurt?" He said frantically worried about it and holding my palms. "Does something feel out of place? Is it a lot of pain? Hazel? Does it hurt a lot? Hazel?"   
   
I was too busy starring at my palms to notice him looking deeply into me. I nodded and turned my head toward him And nodded again. We were having eye contact that was deep, For once I didn't look away from him.   
   
"Are you sure? Positive? Does it hurt?" He asked multiple questions mostly repeating himself.   
"Yes Luke" I said and then glanced back at my hand to see Luke rubbing lightly over the small scar left from our last incident.   
"I'm so sorry, hazel. "He said and his eyes turned sad full of guilty.   
I shook my head, "no no luke it's not your fault" I said   
He shook his head "yes it is everytime I'm with you something bad happens "  
"Luke it's not it" I said trying to make him feel better.   
"Yes it is Hazel I feel so bad about it" he said holding both my hands closer to his lap.   
"Luke it's not, maybe I just become a klutz around you" I said "I swear it's your looks Luke"   
He laughed. Which made me feel better. I wanted him to feel better and and not blame himself, so I pulled my hand away and stood up.   
"Come on luke" I said and grabbed the keys from the coffee table.   
   
He stood up "hazel? Does it still hurt?"   
"No luke it does not, now come on " I said trying to take his mind off of it.   
We finally got out of the house and hopped into his car. His car looked expensive and new. Leather seats, navigation, top notch everything. As I was getting inside I noticed what I guessed to be his initials entitled into the drivers head rest. LRH was initialed in a pretty cursive writing in black on the white leather seat.   
   
We began driving, it was really quite while we were driving onto the main road. Silence, pure utter silence. We were nearing toward the town center, but we didn't turn into the signal lane, instead we kept going. I didn't ask where we were going. Just sat there in silence. The music wasn't on. Just silence. I was starring straight at road, we were headed onto a large intersection to enter a freeway. I noticed the time passing it's been twenty minutes of driving so far.   
   
I looked over to Luke. He had a blank expression on, just staring out onto the road. His right hand was placed on the steering wheel, while the other one was on the stick shift that was in-between our two seats. Still silent.   
I began fiddling with my fingers. I was feeling awkward. 

   
We continued driving for another thirty minutes. When we reached a forest. Normal girls would think this is romantic maybe a picnic or a camp or something related to that, I began laughing as we parked in some random spot by a tree.   
   
"Is this where I die? Or where you tell me your a vampire?" I said I couldn't contain my laughter.   
   
Luke looked at me and started chuckling "why you don't like this?"   
   
"I mean I thought you'd take me to dinner before you sucked the blood from me and turned me into a blood thirsty vampire or left me dead as ruins for other species to compose"I said sarcastically  
   
Luke laughed for a few long seconds and then turned the engine off of the car.   
   
"Sooo... Do I just wait for my death? Or do I get a heads up to run off?" I said jokingly  
   
"Haha, no no Hazel." He said and opened his door.   
When I noticed him opening his door I went to grab my door but Luke stopped my hand "no no wait" he said  
   
He ran around the car and opened the door "I forgot to do it earlier when you were getting in the car I'm sorry" he said then closing the door behind me.  
   
"It's okay Luke I'm gonna die either way" I said making Luke laugh.   
"Oh Hazel" he said.  
He began walking toward the forest, but I felt a bit hesitant, even though I was joking about the killing and vampire and such I was still nervous, what were we doing in a forest?  
   
Luke noticed me not following him and said "come on hazel I got something to show you" he said walking toward me and taking my hand and holding it tight.   
"You positive I won't die?" I said  
"Most definitely Hazelnut" he said and we began walking.   
   
The forest had a dirt path. We walked for about five minutes until we reached the end of the forest, at the end was a cliff, and by the cliff was the open ocean.   
   
As we exited out of the forest trees I noticed a large blanket and a picnic basket. I smiled so hard I couldn't contain it.   
As we stopped at the blanket Luke said   
"Um it's not much eh just i don't know you know best view in the world for diner right?" Having his hand ruin threw his hair.   
   
I nodded "this is amazing" I said sitting down on the blanket.   
"Wait until you see the view by the edge of the cliff" he said   
I shook my head no increasingly fast. I was scared of falling the cliff was probably a million feet above sea level and it had no railings no caution sign no nothing.   
"Do you have a fear of heights?" He asked  
"No" I said  
"What's wrong ?" He said still standing.   
"I'm scared of falling" I said, who isn't.   
"Your not scared of falling, your afraid of the sudden stop" he said and I thought, that's true, were only afraid of the sudden stop, not of the actual fall.  
I nodded.  
Luke then walked over to the edge, very close actually. The blanket set down was only a few meters away from the edge but Luke was rather too close to the edge.  
"This is my favorite place in the world" he said taking a deep breath in. "It's just a new world" he stated looking at the ocean for a few minutes than turning back to me.   
"The views beautiful especially from here" he said shining a sincere smile.  
"I'm just scared Luke, that Ill fall, I'm clumsy" I said  
"I'll be right next to you, don't worry" he said   
My heart raced. I wanted to go over to the edge and see the beauty Luke was fascinated over but I was just too scared.   
Luke took my silence and said "it's okay, it's scary I know" and sat down next to me.   
"I used to be scared too" he said resting his weight on his elbows as he stared out to the open view.   
"It took me awhile actually, to get over it and just stand over there" he said  
Takin a deep breath in like it was a touchy subject.   
"What made you step so close to the edge?" I asked even though I knew it might be an unwanted subject for Luke.  
   
"Just you know" he said and it got quite. Luke took a deep breath in again.   
"Sorry" I said.  
He turned his head toward mine and gave a weak smile.   
"Life" he said "life made me step closer"   
"Why life?" I asked, I knew I might have been questioning him a bit too much but I wanted to know more about him.  
"Everything in life, the people, the situations, the problems, the experimentation, this that, everything in life contributed to me stepping closer Hazel" he said "this is my sanctuary"   
"But aren't you scared of accidentally stepping too close or falling over ?" I asked  
"That's the problem." He said "What would you die for?" He asked  
I looked at him confused "die for?" He nodded his head "I'd die for this view, this place, this air, this new world" he said.  
That's why he wasn't afraid. He wasn't afraid of losing anything, he would die in the place he would want his death to be.   
"I'd be perfectly fine dying here, if it happens it happens, every time I come out here I have a high chance of dying, especially stepping so close when the winds are strong and the storms set in but the feeling I have when I'm here is indescribable" he said staring out into the horizon.  
"Euphoria" he said "I feel complete here"   
   
I nodded, "this would be a wonderful place to die in" I said "how did you find this place?" I asked  
   
He shrugged his shoulders with an angry facial expression. "It doesn't matter" he said and I knew to stop asking questions, he was uncomfortable.   
   
"Well Hazel" he said now lying down on his back with his arms placed under his head starring up in the darkening sky.   
   
"Yeah Luke?" I replied  
"I need you to tell me an answer to a question that has been on my mind" he said in a serious tone.   
   
"Well what's the question?" I replied. He patted the empty space between signaling for me to laid down next to him, in which I did, but I had to shift awkwardly due to being a dress.   
   
I laid next to him. He pushed over closer to me, and my right side was touching the left side of his body.   
   
He slid one arm under my neck and pulled me closer to him, I honestly had no idea how much closer we could be.  
   
Luke then turned his head toward mine and looked deep into my eyes. I felt insecure as I thought he could see right into, feel my heart racing, and notice all the flaws about me.   
   
"Hazel?" Luke said very close to my face that we could Eskimo kiss.   
I looked at him his eyes were a hypnosis.   
"Yes Luke?" I replied "what's the question?"   
   
He began growing a small smile across his face slowly growing.   
"The question is why are you so beautiful?"


	22. Ch 22

"The question is why are you so beautiful?"

"What?" I looked at him with confused eyes, I never had anyone tell me That I'm beautiful. I was told that I was pretty and cute but never beautiful.

"Your beautiful Hazel" he said his face so close to mine I felt his breath on my lips. 

I gulped, and stared at him, I didn't know what to say.   
"You too" I replied, Luke was handsome, and especially tonight, as the sky darkened his pale skin illuminated his appearance, with his blue eyes; which were dark blue fading in lighter to the center.

He smiled. His eyes lit up even more when he smiled, small crinkles appeared at the end of his eyes and he looked amazing smiling. 

"Hazel" Luke said "Which is worse, failing or never trying?"

My mind was storming up a hurricane, for me questions aren't simply answered. 

"Never trying I guess. But don't you have to try to fail?" I asked  
"True." He said and stared up at the sky which was dark with a multitude of stars spread across and the moon pure white. 

"Would you change anything about the world?" I asked Luke  
"Your gonna think I'm a bad person if I answer that" he said   
"No no I wanna know" I said completing curious about his answer  
"Well, look this is gonna sound bad, but I wouldn't change anything about the world" he said "I know it's like bad because of the wars, the poverty and starvation and everything related to that, but I feel like if everything was perfect, it wouldn't be real. It wouldn't be real in a sense that everyone must suffer to feel, I just feel that emotions and physically experiences make us who we are. And going through this world we live in makes us that. You know, like wanting something so bad, achieving it or failing miserably." 

As he was talking I was thinking about the book "Einstein's dream", wondering whether or by he knew about that book so I asked. 

"I hate that book. I hate it so much." He said   
"Why?" I asked a but surprised, I didn't think he'd know it, let alone hate it with a passion. 

"It just messes you up badly. Like the whole repeating stuff and whatever, how time is a circle and such. I don't believe that. I get that things repeat themselves war, marriage blah blah but you know everyone's life is different " he said 

"But what if were the same person just living through different time periods, Luke, like what if our life just starts over in a different era once we die, hence the circle metaphor" I stated

"It's just I don't like that. I don't like being the same or anything like that. It's hard to explain but you know hazel I want to have a choice I don't want it to be predetermined for me, or to be controlled. Just the idea of everything happening the same way over and over again bothers me" he said 

"I understand Luke, that book bothered me a lot in school, I used to think about it so much" 

"That book just made me question How much control I really had over my life?" Luke said 

I hated the word control. Control made me think of strict and strict made me think about my parents. I understood my parents had to control me as a teen that was normal, but when they controlled my thoughts, and what I had to be, I didn't like that; I could have never become or be myself if I was still there. 

We laid in silence for a few seconds before Luke decided to sit up and open the basket. 

"Don't worry hazel I had Ashton set this up five minutes before we showed up, the whole picnic kind of thing" he said placing the time onto the blanket. 

I nodded my head. "As long as it's not poisonous" I said and he chuckled

There was so much food that Luke pulled out, fruits, drinks, bread snacks.   
He opened up the white styrofoam meal boxes. "Here ya go Hazel" he said   
In the white box was Filet Mignon, diced potatoes and steamed asparagus which I wasn't a fan of. 

"Thank you" I said now seated up. He took out red wine and poured some into two wine glasses. "Not to much, we don't have a designated driver" I said laughing   
"Haha true just a little then" he said handing me the glass. 

As Luke opened his white box he pulled out a knives and forks for our meal. He handed me the knife and fork, and I tried to cut the filet mignon but I struggled and Luke noticed so he helped me out. 

"I hope you like it" he said "I didn't know what to make so I asked Ellie what we should eat, and she said something fancy, and um this was ultimately it" he stated "if you don't like it we could go somewhere to eat, like Reneralds" he said concerned 

"No no I like it thank you" I said reassuring him as I put the food in my mouth. After swallowing the food I told him "the filet is cooked great, not over done" 

"I'm glad you like it Hazel" he said poking his fork in his asparagus "do you like asparagus?" 

I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to be mean and say no, but I didn't wanna lie either. 

I shook my head no. And Luke smiled which I didn't understand why. 

"Haha! Me either ! I told Ellie no one like asparagus but she kept saying its fancy food this and that !" He said 

"Yeah I don't really know anyone who does " I said eating my food 

"I know right! And broccoli who likes that!" He said 

"I have no idea, I'm more of a cheese burger person" I said shrugging my shoulders "but this is nice really nice I like it filet mignon is delicious and you know fancy " I said smiling. 

We continued eating and talking about the different vegetables we didn't understand why people would eat and insects that people eat, we laughed so much that it took us forever to finish eating. 

It became very dark. And I became scared. We were in the middle of nowhere in my eyes, meters away from the edge of a cliff and meters away from a dark forest. It was pretty scared for me, being that I've never been here before. I felt a comforted by the fact that Luke was here and it was his favorite place so he knew his way around but it was still very scary for me. I kept thinking some ferocious animal was about to pop out any minute, but I kept my cool and acted like this was normal. But it wasn't normal especially for me being here in the middle of the night. It was just so frightening. 

Luke was putting the white boxes and extra items back into the basket clearing the blanket. 

I kept looking at the forest, I could have sworn I heard rustling. Luke seemed comfortable completely at ease.Just keep your cool hazel. The darkness in the forest was terrifying, the fact that I couldn't see what was there scared me. 

Suddenly a chill breeze swooned in. I shivered having only wore a dress it was rather cold. Goose bumps ran down my spine. It literally felt like 20 degrees had dropped, it wasn't just a breeze swiping through it was here to stay. I began shivering at the cold and Luke noticed. 

"Come 'ere" he said pulling me into his right side rubbing his hand up and down my back hearing me up.   
"It got rather cold quickly" I said nuzzling my nose into his chest.   
"Yeah, ruined my plans I was thinking about staying the night here but I guess were gonna have to go home eh?" He asked  
"Sorry luke" I said   
"Hazel shut up your not the reason the weather decided to ruin our plans" he said   
"Luke Lets get back to my house where it's warm" I said and we stood up gathering the basket and blanket and walking toward the forest. I was terrified of walking through there in the dark. Luke and I have a about two feet of space between us, but I ran over next to him, scared, I wanted to be very close to him.   
He stopped. "Are ya scared hazel?"   
I nodded "just a little"   
"Don't be, there's nothing here" he said   
"You don't know that, it's dark you can't see anything" I said   
Luke then took my hand and squeezed it right. "I'm right here hazel"   
I nodded "okay"   
We began walking I felt as if we were never going to reach the end. Leaves cracked at the rich benefit us and rustled against the wind.   
"Hazel" Luke said   
"Yeah" I said   
"I feel you shaking, are you really that nervous?" He asked  
"Mhmm" I replied, stopping our movement.   
"Hazel I'll protect you" he said placing his hands on my waist and pulling me closer to him. My face tilted up towards his tall figure. "I'll protect you"he said placing a kiss on my lips. "Promise" he said smiling at me.  
"Luke" I said feeling a little bit at ease.   
"Come on lets go before you pee your pants" he said   
I laughed "wait a ruin a moment Luke"  
Suddenly Luke yelled "who's there!" "OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT, WHOSE THERE?!" And I began screaming.   
I jumped towards Luke's grip and held onto him tightly screaming.   
"Luke oh my god were gonna die!" I screamed almost to tears   
Luke swiped me off my feet and held me. "Hazel relax" he said laughing.   
I began slowly calming down.   
"I'm just messing with you there's nothing here " he said holding me up bridal style and walking out of the forest toward the car. I jumped from his grip and began punching his chest "you dickhead!" I yelled "I thought I was gonna die!"   
He began laughing   
"Luke I was scared shitless and your here laughing " I said running away from him and toward the car.   
He ran after me. "Hazel I'm sorry" he said holding me but I refused his touch.   
"Stop Luke get off" I said but he did the opposite and held me tighter   
"Hazel, babe I'm sorry, I didn't mean you to get that scared" he said squeezing me tighter into his chest  
"Let go Luke" I said withholding the tears I knew were going to flood in.   
"Hazel I'm so sorry " he said placing his hand on my chin and pulling it up towards his head but I shook off his touch and walked over to the passenger door.   
"Hazel don't be like that" Luke said   
I stood in silence waiting for him to unlock it; then the clicky noise went off and I opened the door, seating myself inside and Luke doing the same.   
He turned off the engine and zoomed as he possibly could toward the main freeway.   
"Hazel" Luke said "I didn't think you'd get that scared"   
I sat in silence staring out of my passenger window. The freeway was vacant not a single car around.  
"Hazel" Luke said   
I still refused to say anything. Luke then pulled his car over to the empty side road. His tires screeched so hard at his sudden stop.   
"Hazel" Luke said in a harsh tone.   
"What?" I said still staring out of the passenger window.  
"Look at me" he said in a rather aggressive tone   
"No" I said   
"Hazel" Luke said with the same tone  
"Luke" I said now turning my head towards his   
"I'm sorry" he said "I was a dickhead I shouldn't have done it I'm sorry" he said placing his hand on my thigh, causing me go shiver.  
"Why'd you do that" I asked  
"I don't know, I thought you'd just run into my arms not full on freak out, I thought you were saying you were scared because you wanted me to get closer or something" he said   
My eyebrows collided at my confusion. "What?" I said   
"Yeah I thought you were signaling me to make a move or something" he said   
I shook my head no "that's retarded, why would I fake being scared?"   
"to you know get closer to me" he said winking an eye at me causing me to laugh   
"Your dumb" I said   
"Hazel you can't resist me." He said slowly moving his hand lightly up my thigh.  
As turned on as I was I stopped his hand, I wasn't going to let him win.  
"Sure can" I said smirking   
"You wanna bet?" He asked  
"No need to bet I know I can resist" I said, I was lying I had no Idea what I was doing.   
"Challenge accepted" Luke said.


	23. chapter 23

"No need to bet I know I can resist" I said, I was lying I had no Idea what I was doing.   
"Challenge accepted" Luke said  
I chuckled "luke it's not a game"   
"I know it's not, cause I'm gonna win" he said with the cheekiest smile I had ever seen "Just tell me now if you think your gonna lose"   
"I didn't know you were the competitive type" I said.   
"I'm not, I always win that's all" he said smiling showing his pearl white teeth.   
I nodded with disbelief. He then began driving back onto to the road toward my house, rather quickly.   
"Luke slow down" I said "you don't want a ticket"  
"There's no one out, trust me I know this road like the back of my hand, plus it's late" he said adding more gas to the engine, causing the car to make a vroom noise.   
"Luke slow down please" I asked in which he did.

Luke then turned the music on. A beat very funky came on, in which He began singing.  
"Oh she can wait,for what I can give..."   
Luke's voice was astonishing, at the festival he was just yelling, the kind of singing you'd do with your friends just screaming out the lyrics, but here his voice was something completely different. His voice played out very well to the beat.   
"Sing hazel" he said holding my hand, lifting it up and rocking it to the beat. I began laughing.   
"I'm not whole, I'm not whole " Luke sang looking into my eyes bobbing his head to signal me to sing with him. I shook my head no.   
"Come on hazel!" He said pausing the track. "It's a really easy song" he said   
"Luke I'm a bad singer" I said   
" whether it's good or bad doesn't matter, let loose now come on" he said replaying the song. "It's always like this by Bombay bicycle club" he said "now sing"   
He lifted my hand higher and swayed it back and forth with one hand on the steering wheel.  
"Oh she can wait, for wait I can give, come hazel, it's always like this" Luke sang and began bobbing his head   
"Yes you kept your words" he sang   
He began getting louder "I'm not whole I'm not whole you waste it all"   
And then took his hand off the steering wheel and from my hand and played an imaginary guitar, along to the beat.  
"Luke !" I yelled as there were no hands guiding the car, rather just his knee, so I quickly placed my hands on the wheel but Luke carefree continued singing.   
"Luke!" I yelled one more time and he took control of the cars wheel.  
He laughed. "Relax hazel" and then changed the song.   
I shook my head, placing my hand on my forehead and rubbing it.   
"Hah, hazelnut come on" he said taking my hand up again. "Let loose!" He stated  
"Luke were driving, not only are you putting your life in danger, but my life and the others driving" I said   
In a sarcastic tone Luke responded with "oh yeah don't wanna kill someone here gotta be careful you know plenty of damage would be done here"I shook my head at his comment.  
"Shut up Luke" I said flashing a smile at his sarcasm  
"Make me babe" he said turning his head to wink at me and then turning back to continue driving.   
I just smiled and looked at the road ahead.   
We began nearing lilac lane where Luke parked on the side of my house. Turning off his engine I turned to open the door when Luke stopped me.   
"No no no wait" he said and then rushed out of his seat around the car and by my door. "Hazelnut" he said as he opened the door and held his hand out. "Luke you didn't have to" I said stepping out the vehicle.  
He closed the door behind me and then locked the car. He took my hand we began walking and we walked past my house which caused me to stop in our tracks. "Luke the house is there?" I said pointing at the cottage.   
"I know hazel" he said and pulled at my hand to walk.   
"Where are we going then?" I asked  
"Let's walk around for a little" he said "it's a beautiful night to walk around with a beautiful girl" he said smiling at me  
I blushed at his statement. He gripped my hand a little tighter. "Luke, you look handsome tonight as well" I said starring down at the cement as we walked around the neighborhood which contained much grass and few homes, mostly cottages.   
"Eh? You think so? I was thinking about getting some plastic surgery done here and here" he said as he pointed to his face and nose which caused me to laugh.   
"Maybe a little Botox here" he said as he gripped my bum. "Luke!" I yelled and smacked his muscular arm. He laughed endlessly.   
"Just kidding Hazelnut!" He said and pulled me into a hug. "You don't need that much plastic surgery..." He said and I punched him in the chest "just a little you know here and there" he said squeezing my body tighter into his.   
"Oh shut up Luke!" I said continuously punching his chest.  
"Hazel that doesn't hurt" he said gripping me tighter into his body, his body smelled glorious, husky and manly.   
"I know it does" I said as I pulled away from his hug and continued to walk.   
He ran toward me and grabbed my hand "nice arse" he said   
"Luke!" I yelled   
"Haha, your so funny when your mad" he said. I shook my head.  
We had taken two laps around the small street of lilac lane when he reached home again.   
Luke was walking behind me holding my waist as we neared my front door.   
As I grabbed the door knob I realized I left my purse inside Luke's car with my keys there.   
I turned around to face Luke "I forgot my keys in your car" I said but luke pushed me up against the door.   
"Are ya sure they aren't here?" He said as he grabbed my thigh.   
"Luke!" I said and smacked him   
"Haha here ya go " he said and handed me the keys.   
I walked over to Luke's car unlocking it and taking my purse out. I closed the door behind myself and fiddled around the purse looking for the keys as I walked over to the front door of the house.   
"Need help babe?" Luke asked  
"Nope!" I said as I pulled the keys out flashing them in his face and unlocked the door.   
We both entered in taking our shoes off, and I locked the door behind us where we then walked into the living room.  
"Do you want something to drink?" I asked walking over to the kitchen and opening the fridge to grab a bottle of water. "Yeah anything" he said and walked over to him handing him the other bottle.   
Luke was seated on the couch, very manly seated. His legs were spread out and his shoulders were back, with one of his hands controlling the arm chair. He looked so fine, so husky owning the couch. I had never been more turned on then now, looking at Luke, whose long sleeve button up was shaping his muscles and exposing chest a little bit of his chest. I gulped and sat on the couch perpendicular to the one Luke was on.   
"Do you wanna watch something?" I asked "nah, kind of tired how bout you babe?" He asked  
"Just a little, do you wanna head upstairs?" I asked  
"Thought you'd never ask" he said and guided us upstairs.   
As we both entered the room Luke began unbuttoning his shirt. Slowly stripping it off his toned upper body.   
"Uh Luke do you wanna take a shower first or ?" I gulped as his shirt was completely off and planted onto the floor.   
"Or together?" Luke said and neared closer to me, gripping onto my dress.   
As much id liked to, I knew how I looked naked, I could barely look at my body in the mirror let alone let Luke see it, so I shook my head no.   
"Eh, thought you'd saw that. But if you don't mind I'll go first" he said and I nodded at his statement. "There's two clean towels in the bathroom." I said and he walked in "don't worry hazel I'll be out in no time" he said smiling at me before closing the door. 

I then rushed over to the closest picked out a large oversized tshirt and a pair of pajama shorts. 

As I tidied up around the room, I heard luke nearing the end of his shower as he closed the water drain.   
"Hazel" he said through the door. "Do you by any chance have an extra tooth brush?"   
"Um yeah I think, check in the cabinet beneath the sink, I think it's still in the package" I said as I recalled buying a pack of three toothbrushes which were on sale.   
"There's two in here, red and blue which one?" He asked  
"Um any mines the white one in the cup, but you can choose any one you want" I said   
"Okay, 'll take the blue" he said and I heard faucet turn on.   
As I patiently waited for Luke to finish I smushed the pillows up a bit and shook the comforter up in the air for a bit more fluff and comfort.   
I turned around as I heard Luke open the door and walk out. "Your turn "he said as he used the towel to dry his hair, while only in his boxer briefs. "Do you want me to put it in the laundry?" He asked   
I shook my head "no it's fine I'll do it" taking the towel from Luke but luke pulled the towel back and said "hazel I'll do it, hop in the shower" he said smiling.   
I nodded "it's behind the kitchen you'll see the door" I said and grabbed my clothes and walked into the bathroom.   
As I heard Luke's steps down the stairs I got out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. As I turned the water on, I noticed Luke left no trace behind, he left the area so clean, cleaner than it was before. The water left amazing against the back and hitting my head, it soothed my body. After a few long minutes I finally exited out of the shower and rubbed the towel against my body, I was freezing exiting out from the warm water. As I put the large shirt on and the pajamas I walked over the sink to brush my hair out. I looked into the mirror which was a bit foggy, but I felt good about myself which was rare. I brushed my teeth quickly and took my clothes and towels when I finished. As I walked out of the bathroom I saw Luke laid up against the head board of the bed with a book in his hands.   
"Hazel, I didn't turn on the machine I left it for you to put your stuff in so you wouldn't have to do two loads" he said and I nodded "Luke do you want anything from downstairs a drink, snacks?" I asked  
Luke shook his head "no thanks" and I walked down to put the items in the machine. After finishing up that scenario I ran upstairs to get in bed. As I snuggled into the warm bed Luke made a comment "you like tragedies?"   
"Eh kind of, just I like reading anything really, but not everything."  
"What do you mean?" Luke asked   
"If it doesn't grab my attention from line one, I won't read it, even if it's the most amazing book in the world" I said "I know that's like weird and whatever but I'm just that type of person, I'm kind of like judging but I don't know, like if didn't grab my attention that first line I'll end up disliking the book while forcing myself to read it" I placed my hand to my forehead as I heard myself speaking stupidly "I know it's retarded but I'm just I don't that's just me" 

"I don't like reading much" Luke said "I like reading summaries of books and comments about it but actually reading it not so much" Luke said and my eyes widened. "Really?" I asked  
"Mhm, only read maybe a handful of books, and The fault in our stars being one of my favorites, but Oedipus not so much, I like the story's plot and idea but the words of the actual book are so hard to understand" he said opening up the book. "See it's increasingly hard to read, did you actually read it?" He said pointing to one of the lines  
"No it was for a project back in high school and I just kept it ever since then" I said, luke then nodded and threw the book on the ground and flopped into me.   
"Mhmm, you smell nice" he said squeezing me under him.   
He shuffled on top of me for comfort. As he finally settled on me, my legs were spread out far apart as he was centered between me, his head laid on my chest staring up at me, with his arms wrapped around me.   
"Are ya ticklish ah?" He said and then attacked me with tickles. He began tickling my stomach, and around my back, and all over. I squirmed at his touch. "Luke! Ah! Stop please! Hahaha! Stop Luke!" I pleaded   
After a few more second she finally stopped and laid back on his side. "Screamer aye?" He said   
I turned toward him and smacked his chest, but he pulled my arm in and had me laying on his chest.   
"Your a butthole" I said quietly   
"haha, it's arsehole" he said   
"I like butthole better" I said "arsehole sounds so ugly"   
"So now your choosing your words depending on their beauty? Tsk tsk" he said   
"Oh shut up! You know what I mean" I said, he wrapped his arms right around me causing me to fall into the side of body with one of my legs on top of his.   
Luke's bare chest was magnificent, every muscle was toned and defined, and I couldn't help but glance down at his v line which was barely showing from the blanket, which I realized I had control over with my leg. So I shuffled my leg a little bit, and the blanket slowly tugged down. So I acted like I needed to stretch my shoulders and legs and it worked his v line was showing. And boy was it showing. 

Luke had been playing with my hair and staring up at the ceiling. So I thought why not take him up on the offer of competitiveness and see who can resist? 

I began slowly and lightly running my hand around his chest, his eight pack was rough and hard, where I outlined every line with my finger. After a few moments I headed down south, where as I approached the elastic band of his boxers. I flattened my hand against his stomach and slowly entered my hand inside his boxers, when suddenly I was stopped, Luke's hand on top of mine which was covered through the cloth of his briefs. 

"What are you doing?" He asked and I looked up at him.  
"I win" I said smiling "you couldn't handle it "   
"Hazel, see if I were to have known we were doing this as a game, I'd let you proceed but now that you have challenged my ego well see" he said and flipped me underneath him.  
He pushed his lips into mine. Holding my face in place with his two strong hands.   
He began separating my legs as he pushed his body inbetween me.   
His hands began lowering themselves  
Toward my waist, but the kisses were still happening. He'd kiss me for a long moments were I couldn't breathed and then release breathing into my lips, and then back slamming his lips against mine. As Luke's hands reached my waist, he gripped tight onto my hips causing me to wrap my legs around him. He have one last kiss before pulling apart, and strolled down to neck sucking hard on sensitive area under my jaw and around my neck, where he whispered into my ear "tell me when it gets too hot for ya babe" and kissed the area on my neck and proceeded giving me hickies all over. 

His hands were moving from my hips, Over to my back and down to my bum, which he grabbed tightly onto as he sucked violently on my neck. This caused me to arch my back, and Luke slammed his crotch area into mine, causing me to whimper.

"Agh!" I moaned out, I had never been exposed to this.   
"You like this babe? When I grab your arse like this" he said and held onto it tighter   
I nodded as I felt intensity build up inside me.   
Luke began rubbing his crotch area against mine. He slowly rubbed his area around mine as he moved one of his hands around neck and the other around my waist. He slowly began thrusting into me.   
I didn't know what was happening. I was too overwhelmed. I began feeling my stomach clench.   
"Babe" Luke said as he kissed my lips and continued rubbing up against me.  
I pulled away from the kiss, "luke I can't" I said "I can't handle this" I stated  
"Okay hazel" Luke said and pulled his body off of mine, moving over to the empty side.   
I sat up from the bed. My hands plastered to my face.   
"Hazel are you okay?" He asked  
I shook my head no.   
"Why? What's wrong babe?" Luke said and moved over to me.  
"I have never done this before" I said "I don't know"   
"It's okay babe" he said rubbing his hand around my arm.  
"I just don't know how to act or do, I don't know" I stated  
"Hazel, everyone's been inexperienced at one point" he said turning my head towards his. "You were good don't worry"   
"Luke" I said about to laugh from embarrassment "were we ?" I felt the red cover my cheeks  
"Dry humping?" Luke said chuckling "kind of yeah"   
I poured out laughing. "Dear god, I never thought it could you know feel that nice"  
Luke nodded "haha yeah hazel we were dry humping"  
"It sounds so wierd saying it" I said   
"What dry humping?" Luke said laughing   
"Hahahaa yeah! It's such a wierd word to say" I said   
"But doing is a different story huh Hazel?" Luke said   
I nodded and shuffled back into my side of the bed, and luke did the same.  
"Hazel" Luke said as he pulled me into his grip laying in bed "if you don't mind me asking how experienced are ya?"


	24. chapter 24

"Hazel" Luke said as he pulled me into his grip laying in bed "if you don't mind me asking how experienced are ya?"

My eyes shut close. I placed my hands on my face to avoid facing Luke's face. 

"You don't have to answer" he said shaking my hands off.   
I shook my head no. I didn't want him thinking I was some coward who couldn't talk about this stuff...  
"I haven't" I said. I began feeling pain a little bit, my heart clenching as I remembered horrible comments about me in high school.   
"Hazel, 's alright I don't need to know, if it's awkward to talk about" he said pulling my hands off and staring down at me. Luke was kind of on me, I was laid flat on the bed and Luke's side was hitting mine as he rested his head on his elbow, with part of his body partially on me. He slowly rubbed my hip with his hand.   
"No I haven't done anything" I said. "Just the you know like a kiss and stuff but nothing intimate" I was saying it but I wasn't believing it. I felt as of I was lying. I was feeling so uncomfortable, and Luke could sense that. He laid down on his back, placing the covers over himself and me. 

I thought Luke was just gonna go off to bed but he instead he said "sorry that I asked, I don't wanna make you comfortable." kissing my forehead afterward and nestling into his side of the bed.

The lights were off. Complete darkness. Complete silence. Luke drifted off into slumber, while I suffered from memories.

I didn't want to lay there and cry next to Luke. It would be pathetic I thought. But I felt so bad. I ruined the mood. My statement came off rude to him, I think, or maybe it was an excuse to sleep. Everyone wants pleasure, that's completely normal. But Luke took my statement the wrong way. He probably thinks I'm some child who can't talk about my experience, that I probably wasn't mature enough. 

I didn't feel comfortable explaining to him, what happened. I had never done anything intimate with the opposite sex, nor have I received it in return. But I felt dirty. All four years of high school I was made fun of, teased about, and mocked by others for being a "whore". The irony being I had never touched a boy in that way. Yes I had my first kiss, make- outs,hug but nothing intimate intimate. I was innocent when it came to that. But four years of the horrific comments I went through, in the hallways, on social networking sites, walking home, I was harassed with the most disgusting comments about me. And I knew I never did anything to be called that. I would understand it if I did, but I don't do any of the things some people would say about me, or brag about me; how they fucked me after the football game, or how I blew the entire soccer team. Though I knew I was innocent, after four years of the comments being made over and over again, I slowly began believing it. Pathetic. But after some much of me denying it and trying to stop it, it only made the comments worse. As much as I denied what they said they did with me, I was still made fun of. After awhile id just stop denying it, just ignored it as much as I could. But ignoring it only caused me to actually believe it. I actually began feeling dirty, and used and slutty. Hearing no guy wanted me at school, I was some "easy hoe", I just went along with the comments. The four years of high school fucked me up so much I actually began believing what was said about me. 

Family was difficult as well. Even if I wanted to have sex, or any type of intimacy with a person, I'd be scared shitless of my parents figuring out. My parents weren't exactly religious, but they enforced the fundamentals, and sex before marriage being a sin was the strongest enforcement. 

It sucked coming home from school after dealing with people calling you this and that, being the dirtiest of the Dirtiest and then having to come home and hear your father or mother judge whoever is on tv. Whether it was a movie on tv with a sex scene that so happened to show up, or an entertainer on singing/rapping about sex drugs and whatever my parents would go on and on about the disgustingness of a woman who sleeps around while for men it was okay. My parents had double standards. I'd be pretty messed up, having to deal with so much annoyance. 

I got up and went to the bathroom. This was just too much thinking, too much negativity. I looked in the mirror saw how my eyes sloped down and I had dark circles, I was deprived of sleep. I put my hands on the sink, closed my eyes, and slowly breathed in and out. Why does my past follow me. Why can't I just be who I want here.   
I'm so pathetic. I can't do anything without my past somehow intervening. 

I sat down on the cool tile. Laid my legs flat down with my head against the sinks cabinet. I fiddled with the fingers. 

I sat there blank. Nothing in thought, nothing in mind. Just felt the coolness of the tiles against my body. I loved the cold. Almost numbs pain and thought for me. I lose my train of thought in the cold weather as I feel it hit my skin, giving me shivers and goosebumps. I just stop thinking and feel. Feel the ever coldness against my skin. 

"Hazel?" Luke said in a voice which was apparent at being his sleepy voice, as he knocked on the door. Straightening out his voice with a cough before saying "You okay?"   
I shook my head yes. "Yeah" I replied  
"Can I come in, you've been in there for awhile now" he asked  
"Yeah" I replied and Luke slowly opened the door, not surprised to see me on the floor, but rather sat next to me. He took my hand in his hand and held in over his legs which were laid down flat against the coolness of the titles. My hand was touching his thigh, half covered with his briefs and half being his skin. He had soft skin. Blonde hair over his legs but barely anything. His legs were toned and thick, and quite long.   
"Hazelnut" he said in a sleepy deep husky voice and I directed my attention away from his legs to his face, which was to the side looking at me.   
I looked at him, his eyes were exceptional blue at this moment. He looked tired, but in the most beautiful way possible. He slowly smiled at me.

"What's wrong?why are you in here" he asked.  
"I like the tiles" I said mentally slapping myself for the idiotic comment.   
Luke chuckled "tiles?" He asked.  
I just shook my head yes.   
"Why?" He asked smiling with confusion in his eyes, with his eye brows almost touching each other.  
"It's nice and cool" I said touching the tiles with my free hand.  
Luke nodded and did the same with his free hand "uh, yeah it's um well cool, I guess".  
Luke didn't understand. So I changed the subject.   
"Did I wake you?" I asked  
"Oh nah, I was just you know laying with my eyes closed." He said   
"Sorry" I said   
"For what?" Luke asked looking at me.   
"For waking you, or I don't know disturbing your sleep. Was I moving around too much that you couldn't fall asleep?" I said "sorry for being weird too." 

"What hazel? For being weird? For disturbing my sleep" he said in a tone he found funny.  
"Yeah, um" I was interrupted by Luke  
"Hazel, I like being with you, so if you disturb my sleep which you weren't, I wouldn't mind" he said   
I rubbed my free hand over my face, rubbing at my eye area growing frustrated. I shook my head no.   
"What's wrong?" Luke said in a serious  
"Nothing, I promise, let's go to bed" I said lifting my body off the ground before squeezed onto my forearm pushed me back down.  
"I don't appreciate you lying to me, Hazel." He said in a strict tone, still holding onto my forearm.  
"I'm, I'm" I said before getting interrupted  
"Hazel, twice come on now, I don't like being lied to" he said with a disappointed look in his face mixed with anger.  
"Luke" I said "it's nothing"  
"Was it me?" He asked "did I say something?" Loosing his grip on my forearm.   
"No no Luke" I said "trust me nothing to do with you"   
"I'm having a hard time believing that hazel" he said completely releasing his grip from my forearm  
"It's true" I said   
"Hazel" he said   
"What ? I'm telling the truth" I said   
"Hazel, just say it. Don't keep things inside " he said "I'm here for you."  
I shook my head no.   
"Look babe, come 'ere" he said pulling me into his grip after seeing my eyes beginning to water. "Since you don't wanna talk about it, I'll talk bout myself? If that's alright"   
I shook my head yes.   
"Well hazel, I work for my dad, in his company that he opened recently over here a few years back, hence me moving here. My father is wealthy, he has numerous firms in Australia and I think maybe two in America, don't know why though, but uh my relationship with my dad is not ideal, I guess. Its um how do I say this? Like in a way fake... I don't know he and I are complete opposites in every way possible we don't agree on anything but I never say anything, or do anything about it, and I guess that's why it's like fake you know?" He said stroking my arm as he held me near his chest and I shook my head, feeling just a tad bit better to know I wasn't the only person with father issues. 

"Eh, but my moms lovely, yeah shes just a sweetheart, and I have a strong relationship with my mom, haha she takes a lot of stuff seriously which I find funny, and she haha always gets mad at me for laughing at her, I just can't help it. Um I met ashton here. He's one of my close friends but I used to have." He said and then stopped his train of thought, stopping the stroke along my arm. "Eh um, but yeah I like talking. It's healthy. You know? I don't know, keeping things inside is bad for you hazel, just when you feel comfortable enough you can talk to me" he said beginning to stroke my arm again. "But um not a fan of greek food blah have a terrible experience with that. Hazel are you cold?" He felt down to my thigh "come on get up this is bad your gonna get sick, were gonna get sick" he said slowly pulling me up. 

We walked over to the bed both nestling in the covers from the cool tiles. Luke pulled me into his arms.  
"Gosh hazelnut! Whatchya trying to do! Get us sick!" He said in a mockery tone.   
I chuckled. He pulled me tight, my face flat against his chest with my hair touching his neck. His arm was wrapped around me, with him lightly fiddling with my hip under the covers of the blanket. My arm was wrapped around his bare chest. Slowly rubbing his skin on the side of his bare chest.  
We laid in silence in the arms of each other. We were very comfortable with silence around each other. Which is rare for a person like me, being completely awkward and uncomfortable with silence. But with Luke it felt peaceful. Like we didn't need to do anything, we could be in each other's presence in complete silence and feel comfortable. Though I didn't know exactly what Luke thought, I could imagine he'd agree with me. 

As my eyes slowly began fluttering open and close at my attempt to try to stay awake, Luke stretched his neck a little placing the bottom of his chin on top of my head and squeezing his arms tightly around me.   
"Babe?" Luke asked and I looked up at him. We starred at each other for awhile, smiles slowly growing on our faces. We just stared at each other. I didn't feel uncomfortable, as to the fact the lights were off and the room wasn't completely dark so much of my flaws shouldn't be showing. But I felt pretty when Luke looked at me. His eyes had crinkles at the end of them, showing how his smile dominated his face. 

He slowly began peering into my face. His eyes did not shutter close as he was touching my nose with his. His grip around my hip was tight. And he closed his eyes and slowly Plumped his lips and touched mine. The kiss was slowly turned into a small make out, as he began slowly and softly giving me pecks of kisses. He held his lips onto mine for long periods of time, until releasing where I gasped for air. After one long last kiss we finally said goodnight to each other.


	25. chapter 25

I slowly open my eyes as I felt the suns rays hit me. I glanced over to see Luke still asleep. One hand under the pillow and the other over the blanket. His eyes were closed and his mouth was open. His hair was a bit messy with the front part pointing up and the other sides just heading in every direction. He looked so handsome asleep, just as perfect as he looked awake. I decided to get out of bed and make breakfast for the both of us.

After brushing my teeth and hair and all the necessary morning things were done, I walked out the bathroom door and saw Luke sound asleep in the same position as earlier before. He was a silent sleeper. I walked down stairs and into the kitchen playing around with whatever I saw in the refrigerator. I didn't know what Luke would like so I made every breakfast food possible, scrabbled eggs, French toast, grilled cheese, and pancakes. I couldn't think of anything else he could like so I prayed for the best. After all the food was prepped and cooked, I made a nice arrangement on the kitchen table, (which only sat two) and after I was done with how everything looked I rushed upstairs to wake Luke. As I peered in slowly through the door I saw Luke wasn't in bed. Then I heard the shower on. I knocked on the bathroom door, and said "um Luke I made breakfast, it's ready downstairs".  
"Okay, I'll be done soon, but eh Hazel there's no extra towel in here" he said   
And I thought that's not possible I could've of swore there was bout one to two in there when I was in there this morning.   
"I'll bring you one" I said and rushed downstairs retrieving a Three towels to be out in the bathroom.  
I knocked again on the door and I heard Luke shut the shower knob off.   
"Luke I'll just leave it here by the door" I said   
"Hazel no hold on can you hand me one, I don't want to get the floor wet." He said   
"But your naked" I said and then smacking my face as I said the most ridiculous thing possible.  
"Haha, yeah I am, that's how you take a shower Hazel" he said "now come on, you don't have to look if you don't want too" he said "but you know your completely welcome to if you'd want to"   
"Luke I'm coming in" I said and opened the door, I closed my eyes and stuck my hand out as far as possible toward the shower handing him the towel.   
"A little to the left Hazel" he said and I went left "no no too far to the right" and I went right, we went back and forth with that until I realized he was messing with me.   
"Luke I'm not opening my eyes so" I said laughing "you can't dry off without a towel"   
"Alright alright"he said smiling and then grabbing the towel from my hand.   
"But hazel you have a problem on your hands now don't ya, you gotta open your eyes to put those away" he said   
"Oh ugh" I said.   
"It's alright hazel I'll put them away" he said   
I walked out and the bathroom and waited for Luke. After a few minutes Luke came down in an under shirt and his boxers.   
"Ah I see you didn't start with out me" he said and walked over to me, pulling my side bangs away and kissing my forehead. Butterflies ran through my body as that was probably the most romantic thing to happen to me. Luke walked over to the laundry room and dropped his towel in there. 

We began eating when he came back. "Hazel were you expecting an army ?" He said chuckling  
"I just didn't know what you liked so you know I just yeah" I said shrugging my shoulders and continued eating.   
"Oh haha I like a lot of food, just not sea food blah!" Luke said sticking his tongue out.  
"Same sea food isn't my favorite, I don't like Chinese either" I said   
"I thought Americans liked Chinese right like the box and the those like sticks that you use?" He said   
"Wait a be stereotypical! Haha, I don't like Chinese food just oh I like the um I think it's Japanese though the orange chicken and rice that's delicious, I think the thing is called Cajun, not sure though" I said   
"Ohh I tired that one time, when I visited America the chicken was sweet right?" He said   
"Yeah yeah that's it, and you can choose if you want the noodles or rice" I said   
"Like fast food kind of right?" He said   
"Yeah kind of they usually have it like at malls" I said   
Luke's face grew scared and he stopped chewing.   
"Hazel!" He yelled  
"What's wrong are you okay?" I said and jumped from my chair over to him.  
"Does this have salt?" He asked  
"I mean yeah yes why?" I said   
" I'm allergic!" He said and fell to the floor and griped his stomach "oh no I'm dying, I'm DYING!" He cried hysterically   
After realizing he was messing around with me I wrestled him on the floor. We tossed and turned tickling each other and pinching, I smacked him lightly a couple of times, and punched him in the stomach, but all he did was tickle and pinch me.   
Luke over took the situation above me on the floor tickling me. "Luke stoppp ! Hahahahah! Please haha!" I yelled while laughing.   
He stopped placed his fingers on his chin and said "um let me think about that...NO!" He said and furiously tickled me.

I laughed endlessly "LUKKEEE" I yelled. "Okay okay I'll stop" he said  
And pulled away as he stood up I pulled him down and sat on-top of him rather quickly and with all the force in my body, I then tickled him like a psychopath by his stomach. "Hazel" he said chuckling "what ya doing? Haha" he asked and I tickled him even more. Luke then grabbed my arms and pulled my face toward his. "Hazel, your being a bad girl babe" he said in the utter most sexiest voice I had ever heard him talk in.   
I gulped "oh well" I said.  
He wrapped his arms around me and had me laying I on top of him. Out of some weird moment I licked Luke's nose. It was so awkward and I hadn't known why I did it. To be honest I knew why, I had seen it in a movie and ever since I saw that I always wanted something like that. But then again it wasn't awkward in the movie like it is now.   
Luke began laughing. "Haha, you lick noses?" I shook my head no. "I don't know why I did that" I said trying to change the topic, but Luke then licked mine. Which ultimately caused me to laugh.   
"You can't blame me for laughing haha I think it's a natural reaction hazelnut, haha this lick nosing thing, is this some American kink?" He asked   
"What no! " I said "just something I saw and always wanted to try" I said  
He held onto my waist tight. "Oh so you watched some others doing it, you watch other people doing stuff ugh hazelnut?" He asked  
"Haha luke a movie, not porn or stuff or whatever your thinking" I said lightly smacking him.   
"We could make a porno huh babe?" He said grabbing my ass and chuckling   
"Haha shut up Luke" I said slapping him lightly. 

After wrestling with each other and finishing up our food Luke left saying he had to do some stuff for his dad at work, and that tonight Ellie would pick me up for some event that were going to go to. I asked him what type of event and all he said was "night, fast and motorcycles" I was confused at his selection of words. I wasn't sure of what to wear or what was really going to happen.   
After he left all I did was clean up wash the dishes and think about the event. I grew impatient as I waited for Ellie to come. 

Cleaning took some time up but I grew tired and sat on the couch and laid down for a bit. I turned on the television and skimmed through the channels. As I went through the channels I saw the screen showing that next "a walk to remember" would be playing. So I ran over to the kitchen got some popcorn, chips and tissues and ran back to the television. 

The movie began and I fiddled with my fingers. The movie brought back feelings to me which were indecisive I didn't know whether they were good or bad. Ten minutes into the movie and I was already frustrated with my self, as I watching the movie but mind wasn't ultimately engaged in it, I was too busy thinking. 

The scene came up with porch and Landon knocking on the door of Jamie's house to rehearse, Jamie refused after he treated her like shit in front of his friends. Which caused me to remember. 

***flashback   
"Come ere" he said as he pulled me hidden into the land of books in the huge library out school owned. "Hazel, no one can know, you know all cause your parents and such okay sweetie?" He said. I nodded my head. "Just like I told you okay" he said and I nodded once more. "See ya later Hazel" walking away and looking side to side invade anyone was near"   
***end of flashback

 

I turned the television off. This wasn't easy. Are people suppose to always feel like this? Anything they do has memories and flashback that interrupts everything? I pondered and pondered. Fucking asshole I thought. I couldn't believe how dumb I was then. 

I shook my head to clear my mind of the awful memories but someone rang the door. Ellie walked in just as I was about to open the door. 

"Aye! Ready for tonight!" she said   
"Not really " I said   
"Well of course not your not even ready!" she said rushing me upstairs after closing the door behind herself. 

As we looked through the closest, I asked Ellie "um Ellie what kind of event is this?"   
"Event?Luke told you it's an event?" She asked and I nodded "well yeah sort of what's else did he tell you ?"   
"Umm all he said night fast and eh I think motorcycles yeah" I said   
"Haha you'll find out babe" she said   
"Please tell Me" I begged "I'm not into surprises!" I said pleading her to tell me  
"Haha okay okay, use your imagination hazel, it's night there's motorcycles and it's fast?" She said   
"So it's not an event?" I asked   
"No no not really not the way your thinking about it. " she said  
"Well like what fast as in speed or something?" I asked  
"Mhm!" She said "have ya seen fast and furious?"   
"Yeah but like parts" I said   
"Well like that, were going there tonight it's like this huge abandon parking lot with tons and tons of motorcycles and there's a race" she said   
"Is that illegal?"I asked  
"Um don't know if it's really illegal but I know the police cause a fuss bout it constantly" she said   
"What happens there?" I asked  
"There's like this race and stuff the guys show off their bikes and girls, that's pretty much the main " she said   
Pulling a black shirt out. "This this will be perfect not to flashy and not to boring" she said "Luke and ashton are gonna have the two hottest babes with em when they win!" She said   
"When they win?" I asked  
"Yeah babe were a team, Luke and ashton have two separate bikes and your with Luke and I'm with ash on the bikes and we race!" She yelled with excitement.   
"At night ? Helmets? Like how?" I asked   
"Oh no no babe, the girls are blindfolded and your back is against Luke's, so you'll be facing the back" she said   
"What!" I yelled nervous  
"Yes hazel it's something they saw in the Spain happen and brought it over here a couple of years back everyone does it" she said   
"That's not safe at all Ellie how are you so calm?" I asked   
"I've done in twice with ashton it's sick hazel" she said "the speed and the fact that your blindfolded it's amazing."   
"Have you ever won with ashton?" I asked  
"The question is have we ever lost!" She said " we haven't ever lost Hazel, especially cause of Luke him and ashton work as a team, and you'll be on it tonight"   
"Tonight" I said and gulped I didnt want to look like a coward infront of Ellie but I was scared shitless, especially last night when Luke was just speeding a tad on the freeway I was scared let alone be blindfolded on a motorcycle for a race.   
"Tonight!" Ellie yelled with excitement.   
Tonight I thought.


	26. Chapter 26

As Ellie began doing my hair I only felt anxious about the entire situation, I decided not to ask her questions about it and instead just see the situation when it arrives, otherwise id be even more nervous and anxious than I am now. 

All I thought was dear god if my parents knew what I was doing. They never would have approved of something like this, my dad would call it hooligans at their best or people with no morals and education no parents. I was scared I didn't know how to act in a situation like this, I wasn't quite badass, I never really did anything bad. In school I was always scared to get in trouble because I knew my parents would go psycho. My parents never accepted a "b" as a grade let alone have to hear about me getting into a fight or something. I guess that's why I never stood up for myself with the nasty comments at school. I mean I knew the girls I used to be friends with; they never fought just gossiped and spread rumors but sometimes I'd get urges where I would come to school and they would say something when I pass by, I'd want to more than anything curse them out or say something (because I knew a lot about them) or just punch them, something just to get them to shut up. But I never did anything because I was scared, scared of my parents and what they would say. First they'd most likely start off with why did the fight happen? Why are they saying those things about you? Why can't you ever be friends with anyone? Why can't you just stop causing shame to our family? Why are you embarrassing us? Now all our friends and family are gonna say they raised a hooligan. All my parents ever thought about was what "they" would say, that's all they cared about. While me, I tried so hard to pull away from that, Caring what "they" had to say. 

Ellie pulled me from my thoughts "Hazel, which way do you wear your side bangs ?" She asked  
"Um yeah yeah that way, oh wow Ellie this is so pretty, will this be okay under the helmet?" I asked "I don't want it to get ruined"  
"Helmet?" She chuckled "haha Hazel no helmets just a bandana wrapped around your face to cover your eyes"   
"What?!" I asked I couldn't have been more nervous than now, "that's not safe that's not safe at all Ellie"   
"Hazel relax, it's been done all the time promise" she said   
"What do you mean? Who would do this?" I asked  
"Oh my gosh Hazel, just relax! Promise look I tried telling you earlier but you probably swept it over your head, listen this has been happening since like 6,7 maybe 8 years I think I don't know exactly but my brothers been doing it like since the beginning, trust me, like what's it's called oh yeah um I think the guy who started yeah Jarred Saxon he went to like Spain and France and Portugal like he went touring the world after year 12 you know with his buddies and like he brought so much over back here he bought the land where were gonna go and like he made it like almost just a large parking lot but it's like crazy fun but yeah also it was in this movie OMG you have to watch it but it's in Spanish, I think there's a translation but it's just like how it is here like I swear the motorcycles and the racing it actually happens, but yeah now Hazel don't worry, promise it's fine" she said   
Ellie talked fast and all I did was nod and try to understand her she was saying so much that I could barely understand or comprehend how the situation will be, all I knew was no matter how many times or how long it's been happening I was scared. 

Ellie played with my hair looking in the mirror, "Hazel lets add volume" she said grabbing hairspray and a teasing brush. "OMG I just love your hair Hazel it's so easy to work with" she said as she added volume here and there. After she was done she touched my hair like the stylists would do at the salon and I got a feeling maybe she was a stylists so I asked her about it.   
"Ellie are you like a stylist?" I asked  
She shook her head no, "no I'm not but I'm getting my license for cosmetics and business so that I could start my own salon, maybe a lot of salons haha, what you think? Do you like it?" She asked  
"I love it, thank you so much, your amazing at this" I said.   
We hung out in the living room as we waited for the clock to strike 10.   
"Ellie is um are Luke and ashton gonna pick us up?" I asked  
She shook her head no "no um Luke just had to finish up with his dad something like that today so they said they would meet us there will just take a taxi over there "  
"Okay " I said "but will um this is gonna sound weird but wouldn't the taxi I mean couldn't the taxi like tell the police about the event, right?" I asked  
"Oh yeah like that's why will walk like a few feet away from the actual place cause you know small town" she said.

The clock struck ten, and we received the taxi in front of the house, we drove for maybe a half hour, where I recognized the forest and the freeway Luke took me to. When the taxi cab came Ellie and I fought over who would pay but she wouldn't let me pay. As we walked the few feet away from the actual place I was feeling anxious and nervous and pure cowardly, I just felt like Ellie could tell that I was nervous. 

"Ellie um please let me pay you back I can't like I feel weird" I said   
"No no haha Hazel look Luke gave me the money to pay for us, he didn't want you paying for the cab" she said " I swear I told him we could split the bill but he didn't want you to pay for the cab"   
"Oh he didn't have to do that" I said feeling a bit better as whenever I thought about luke I felt good about myself, I just felt comforted. 

We finally reached some abandon building and then squeezed through a fence where we began walking toward the side of the building which looked like a small factory. As we were nearing the end of the side of the building lights were flashing and people were dancing making out and the sports motorcycles everywhere. I looked everywhere trying to get a glimpse of every part of the scenery, and Ellie was on the phone with ashton trying to get him to find us.

Girls were dressing provocatively mini shorts crop tops apparently the more revealing you looked the more the boys surrounded you. If the boys weren't all over the girls they were either touching up their motorcycles or talking to their groups of acquaintances.

"Babe!" A boy yelled which I thought was Luke for a split second with the deep voice similarities but it ended up being Ashton. It was almost like false hope, I was expecting Luke and hoping it was, but no. Ellie and Ashton hugged and kissed what seemed to be like a couple reuniting from long distance or separation. After there whole reunion Ashton said Hi to me and we hugged it out awkwardly. Ashton whispered something to Ellie's ear which caused Ellies face to go kind of sad and mad at the same time (which I didn't understand why) and then told us to go by Luke who was watching the motorcycles. 

Walking through the large parking lot full of people, Ashton and Ellie were in front of me holding hands and I was behind them trying to push through the rude people who wouldn't move. I began thinking I wasn't into the large amounts of crowded people; recalling the festival. After the walk we finally reached Luke. There with three motorcycles, another guy friend and four girls. Three out of the four girls were with the other guy chatting about and Luke was with the other girl by what I assumed his motorcycle. My heart clenched, but I tried to comfort myself, Luke has other friends, Hazel; I told myself. Ashton coughed which caused the entire situation to be awkward and suspicious. 

Ellie walked over to the guy with three other girls in a nanosecond almost in a furious matter, and then I was tapped on the shoulder behind me. I turned around and saw a boy. 

"Hi" the boy said scratching his head.   
"Hi, uh" I said uncomfortable I didn't know, I didn't think I had ever seen this boy.   
"Uh sorry awkward" he said causing me to laugh, for some reason I just felt better when someone else acknowledged an awkward situation like I wasn't the only one feeling so awkward. I nodded.  
"Tom" he said "Thomas is the name but I prefer Tom" and stuck his hand out, I shook his hand and said "Hazel" giving a weak smile.   
My shoulder was being pulled back by someone's hand while I shook Toms hand and saw it was Luke behind me.   
"Aye sorry mate but shes mine" he said in the most strict tone I ever heard him talk in.   
"Uh oh okay oh" Tom said   
"Awkward" I said and Tom laughed, I did it purposely in a way to make the situation better with Tom but also to fuel Luke's jealousy which was evidentially present.   
"See ya Hazel" he said   
"Bye Tom" I said waving to him as he walked backwards waving back and then turning round and walking away.   
Luke walked away from me and toward his motorcycle, I found it quite rude since he still didn't acknowledge me and there wasn't really anything to be mad about.

Ashton and Luke were by the motorcycle with that one girl again. And instead of standing there alone and awkward I walked by Ellie who was socializing with what seemed to be here very close friends or I assumed.   
"Hazel" she said giving me a warm smile and pulling me into the group introducing me to everyone. For about five minutes we chatter on and on laughing and talking about the excitement and such. 

I was pulled by the shoulder again and saw Luke. "Why do you keep pulling at me?" I asked  
"Sorry" he said and then silence fell.   
This time it wasn't the comfortable silence like it was in the bed this time it was full of uncomfortable.   
"Did Harry introduce to tom?" He asked with an angry expression   
I shook my head no "no that was my first time meeting him" I said   
His face fell from the angry expression to relief.   
"You look nice" he said almost trying not to smile but I could see him holding it in.   
I smiled at him, as I understood he didn't want me realizing he was overreacting with the jealousy and didn't want to get caught. Too late though.   
I chuckled at him which caused him to smile, he pulled me into a hug, squeezing tight at the lower part of hips. He placed his head between the crook of my neck and smiled against the skin. "You look beautiful hazel, with your hair like that" he said and I wrapped my arms around him. "Yeah?" I asked and he nodded against my skin. He lowered his hands to my bum pinching it and caused me to smack him lightly on his back. He then lowered his hands under the bum holding onto my thighs and pulling them up. With this reaction he was holding me up with my legs wrapped around his waist.   
"Hazel" he said as we stared at each other.  
"Yeah?" I asked   
"Are ya nervous?" He asked   
"A little" I said   
"Don't worry bout it I promise you'll be there with me, I've done it hundreds of times babe" he said sticking his head toward mine. I pushed my head out towards his about to kiss him and he   
Pulled back. "Haha" he said "gotcha" and I smacked him lightly and covered my face embarrassed. He kissed my hands which were covering my face from the blushing.   
"Hazel" he said   
"What" I asked with my hands still covering my face.   
"Your so heavy" he said and I pulled my hands down quickly and said "sorry"   
And I pushed down from his hold landing on my feet "Ha! Gotcha come ere" he said pulling me into his body and holding my face with both hands pushing his lips against mine.   
While he was kissing me I pulled back "you butthole" I said smiling at him.  
"I'm just kidding !" He said and I shook my head no.  
"Hazel" he said   
"What Luke" I said   
"What what in the butt" he said sticking his tongue out.   
"Luke" I asked "are you high?" I said laughing  
"No babe I'm trying to make you feel better" he said grabbing ahold of my hand. "I know your nervous and all Ellie told me" he said and I nodded my head. 

"Yeah" I said feeling the anxiety run through my body as I thought about the race and the people.   
"No need to be" he said gripping tight to my hand.  
"Ten Minutes! Ten minutes! Set up! Ten minutes" some guy was running around yelling.   
Luke turned around toward where Ellie and the group of friends were. There Ashton and Ellie were setting up "hey ash you settin'up ?" Luke yelled.   
"Yeah come on mate!" Ashton yelled back.   
Luke guided us over to his bike which was black; with the words VYRUS 987 C3 4V in blue, imprinted on the side of the engine. The bike screamed expensive. Though I wasn't an expert in motorcycles I could tell that one was something.   
"Okay hazel, now let me explain" he said "don't be nervous "and I nodded  
"Here sit up here"he said patting the pillion ( which in American slang is called the bitch seat or the rear seat, which I recalled from an documentary about Harley Davidsons Motorcycles.)  
"Hazel! Well see ya other there don't worry girl we got this!" Ellie yelled at me as she was putting her bandana on.   
I gulped at how nervous I was. 

"Hazel" Luke said "look your back will be against my back okay like that see how Ellie and ashton are" he said as they drove off slowly somewhere and I stared examining the awkward position, I shook my head no at how nervous I was "hazel it's okay okay?" He said 

"Trust me looks uncomfortable and awkward but it's not trust me" he said "now your gonna criss-cross your hands around my body holding onto my belt okay babe" he said pointing at his belt and demonstrating how to do it. "It'll make the grip tighter and you'll feel more safe okay babe" he said I just breathed in deeply trying to gasp the situation. 

"Okay I'm putting the bandana on" he said as he pulled it from his pocket and gave me a small kiss one more time.   
After wrapping it slowly around my he repeatedly asked if it was too tight.   
Luke then placed his mouth by the side of my head toward my ear and whispered "hazel, just trust me" he said in a low husky voice and I nodded breathing uncontrollably.   
He pressed lips against the skin of my neck and kissed me lightly. "I promise you'll be alright, I'm right Here" he said. "Luke I'm so scared" I said and   
"Do you not want to do this?" Luke asked and I felt the disappointment. "No no I want to" I said quickly   
Luke kissed my lips and said "don't be Hazel I promise it'll be over in seconds, it's a race, I promise Hazel, I'm right here, you'll be holding onto me" 

 

"Two minute! Two minutes! Positions!" The person ran around yelling. 

Luke then sat on the seat and pulled the hands around his body in a criss-cross form to hold around his belt.   
"Just hold onto that tightly okay Hazel very tightly" he said   
"Okay, I will" I said as I heard everyone's engines beginning and laughter, all I felt as a rush of adrenaline.   
Luke started his engine and began slowly driving he then stopped to which I assumed was the starting line.   
I heard engines igniting and chatter.   
"We got this Hazel!" Ellie and ashton yelled which I assumed were in close proximity to me because their voices were so loud.   
"Hazel, trust me" Luke said. And I nodded repeatedly, I couldn't speak through the ever amount of adrenaline running through my veins with my breathing increasing and the bike shaking underneath me because of the engine. . "I do I do" I said shutting my eyes tight to make the darkness through the bandanna even darker. Shutting my eyes right always made me feel more relaxed whenever I got a shot at the doctors and such, just made me think it would end faster.  
"Vroom vroom " I heard the bikes make the noise and girls screaming out boys' names and such yelling random things. 

Then a lady called out "Ready..." All the drivers were adding ignition to the engine causing more "vroom" noises. "Set..." And it got very quiet in the crowd. "Goooo!" She yelled, and we were off.


End file.
